45 – She’s not a stripper: Tom interviews Silver Rose

Episode 045 – Silver Rose
[00:00:09] Welcome to Screw the Commute. The entrepreneurial podcast dedicated to getting you out of the car and into the money, with your host, lifelong entrepreneur and multimillionaire, Tom Antion.

[00:00:24] Hey everybody it's Tom here with episode 45 of screw the commute podcast. I've got a lady named Silver Rose and yes that's her real name. And I got to tell you she's honed one of her skills at a retirement community or retirement communities. I'll tell you about that in a minute. So I hope you didn't miss Episode 44 which is just coincidentally Patricia Drain who is how I met Silver Rose at an event a long time ago. Patricia's the National Association of Women Business Owners that's commonly known as Nawbo Woman of the year. So she's got quite a lot of insight for you on the last episode 44. Our sponsor today is how to automate your business ebook. some of the techniques in this inexpensive e-book. I mean we tried to figure it out have saved me something like seven million keystrokes in just typing e-mails alone over the years. There's tons of tips in this book that I use the handle as many as 150,000 subscribers and run my entire business with one part time temp person and only time I start adding employees is when my accountant called me and said I had too much retained earnings. I'm going to start hiring people rather than buy bombs through my taxes. If you want to check that out it's greatinternetmarketing.com/automate and we'll have that in the show notes.

[00:02:05] Let's get on to the main event. Silver Rose and despite the name she swears she is not a country western singer or a stripper. I don't know if that's the same order but she is an expert in getting employees to bring their best to work each day. She's known for making audiences laugh wherever she speaks. She honed this ability doing hundreds of stand up comedy shows at clubs and conferences across the country. Silver are you ready to screw? The commute. So Silver is a lovely lady. I want you to tell them what you've been doing and how you've been helping people show up the best at work each day.

[00:03:00] Well you know I was in corporate for a long time myself and I've learned a lot over the years. A lot of what I've learned has to do with being an entrepreneur which is what you do so brilliantly. But I actually work with people to bring more passion to work and I do it by teaching supervisors and managers to quit telling people what to do and actually get people involved in decision making and how to do things so you know if I tell you I know you well enough Tom if I tell you to do something and how to do it you're going to go up and do it your way. That's true of every employee I've ever seen. It's like you know you give him really great instructions and they go off and do it their own way. So I'm trying to reverse that whole process with the companies I work with and it's working great.

[00:03:49] This doesn't have to be for giant companies. Smaller companies can use these same techniques.

[00:03:54] Oh absolutely. It really is based on the Socratic method and Socrates said I can't teach anybody anything I can only help them think. And so he used to teach by asking questions. Well what I work with any organization no matter what size I teach the leadership team to apply what I call Socratic delegation which is to say to somebody this is what I want you to do I need it by next Tuesday. Walk me through some ways you think we could accomplish this.

[00:04:25] Wow that sounds nice but I have to complain a little bit Silver. This is not an intellectual show. Bringing up Socrates? Come on. We're screwballs on this show. So tell us about your corporate life though the transition when you went out on your own as a business and of course you got all the comedy in there too. So tell us what it was like when you were working for a living and when you made the transition to say I'm getting out of this.

[00:04:56] Well my first job was John Hancock Insurance Company in Boston. I grew up in the suburbs. The job was typing insurance licenses and there was a clock on the wall in front of my typewriter. It was the biggest clock I've ever seen in my life it rivaled Big Ben. And I would sit there and watch it tick away tick tick tick tick. So that's where I first started to get really like I don't want to do this. But the comedy came in a lot. I had another job as a receptionist for a very very WASPy investment company called John P. Chase. I was in front of those which switchboards that had plugs that you plug in. So I used to entertain my co-workers by actually impersonating Lily Tomlin one ringy dingy. So that's when the comedy started to kick in and I use laughter just to survive the corporate grind. But eventually I had an insurance company. I had a farmers insurance franchise and then I went to work for a couple of computer software companies.

[00:06:09] You worked for a franchise or you had a franchise.

[00:06:13] I had a franchise.

[00:06:15] All right. So you were in business.

[00:06:17] I was.

[00:06:18] All right so what was that moment or that transition between your work at these pitiful jobs you trying to stay sane. And then you decided to get into a business.

[00:06:31] Well you know what. That really wasn't the defining moment for me because I went back to corporate. I left the insurance company because I have so so little respect for details that I was really afraid that I was going to misrepresent a policy and get sued.

[00:06:49] I like that. That's a good quote for Larry for the show notes. Disrespect for detail.

[00:06:56] So I went back to corporate America and I worked until I was in my mid 30s and here's where the screw the commute came in. I was eventually a recruiter and I placed technical people into jobs. I wanted to have my own business but I kept thinking I don't have the self-discipline that I know a lot of your listeners can probably relate to the fact that you question you know do I have the self-discipline or am I going to get up at noon and you know and go back to sleep at four o'clock in the afternoon. But what I realized is that I was already working for commission only. So I was already working for myself. It's just I had to get 50 percent of it to somebody who owned the company. I said well that's insane. Why am I doing that. So I went out on my own and I started as a recruiter and then to build business I started speaking at just different industry events and eventually I decided what I really love is teaching. And so I became a speaker and executive coach and that's what I do to this day.

[00:07:56] All right. But I know you don't like details. Let's back up a minute to my original question when was that moment or was it a transition period. Did you just quit and start your business. Or did you save up money so that you could have a cushion. How did that work.

[00:08:14] I did not. You know one of the things you should probably already know this about me but I never checked to see if there's water in the pool before I jump off the diving board.

[00:08:25] And you're still alive.

[00:08:27] So far it's working out. But honestly I did all the things they tell you not to do I did not have savings. I mean I basically had been working for a long time because I was commissioned and that you know you eat what you kill. You have got to make it work. So I thought why I think I can do that for other people I can do it for myself. And I don't recommend it. By the way it's much I imagine I have had this experience but I imagine it's much easier if you do have a little bit of a cushion set aside in case something bad happens.

[00:09:00] But you know some people if the only time they perform is when they're back is against the wall the pressure of it if it's too comfortable some people just like you said get up at noon. So that's very interesting how you did that. Tell us more about the comedy club circuit. I know you did the retirement communities and things like that.

[00:09:25] Yeah. You know a couple years ago my partner passed away and he used to say you should be in show business. And I had tried standup comedy in my mid 30s and I get scared and I quit because I couldn't seem to memorize the bit so I could speak extemporaneously for 100 years but I had to memorize something that's difficult.

[00:09:47] Because humor has to be exactly right or the punch line doesn't hit.

[00:09:51] Exactly exactly. And as fate would have it I ran into a friend of mine. I told her this dilemma is she and she pointed me to a book called Moonwalking with Einstein which teaches an Ancient memorization technique that was invented before the Gutenberg printing press because before the printing press people the only way they retain knowledge was to pass stories along. And so I learned this technique and suddenly I'm on stage and comedy clubs and retirement communities doing this comedy and how the retirement communities came along is that just so your listeners know unless you're a big name in comedy. Usually if you're the opening act or the middle act in a comedy club you're really not making much money. And I also didn't want to go to open mics and be at the bar at midnight you know waiting to go on in front of a bunch of drunks. So I figured out my entrepreneurial brain kicked in and I thought Who could I do comedy in front of that will pay me to do it. And I realized that retirement communities all have an entertainment budget.

[00:10:56] Yeah they're not drinking, they're sleeping. They don't throw anything at you.

[00:11:06] They're very respectful. Usually they grin a lot.

[00:11:09] Because they don't want their teeth to fall out.

[00:11:15] Exactly. So I always tell them Look. I don't mind if you check your watch from time to time but if you start tapping it to see if it's broken you're gonna hurt my feelings. I started doing comedy and retirement communities and in fact tomorrow night I have a show at the comedy spot here which is a regular club. It's just it's you know you do it it's exciting it's exhilarating to make people laugh.

[00:11:38] Absolutely yeah. I did it for six years straight. A thousand performances. You're just walking on air after a great show. Of course, you have the times that are not so great. But usually it's if you're good at it and you control the crowd a little bit because a lot of places if you do certain times of day or certain situations you're asking for trouble.

[00:12:04] Oh yeah. No kidding. Yeah. And the one thing I did learn I learned this with what I in my speaking career is at one time did a program for 98 percent of the people in the audience were male and they were firefighters and if chief didn't laugh and none of them laughed.

[00:12:24] Oh yeah that's the way it is with male audiences.

[00:12:30] I thought never again. I am never ever doing an audience like that.

[00:12:32] And that's a good lesson for people because I have my wake 'em up book that teaches using humor in business presentations. All female audiences are way better in general. Any time you have the boss that's in the room. What I used to do is take the boss aside and say look they're going to love you. If I can tease you a little bit and most of them went along with it some of them were just not into it. But the ones that did were just thrilled and that kind of set the whole place up for laughter because then some of them even started bantering back and forth with me and the people just loved it. So yeah a lot of skill to what you do make people laugh. You're just delivering information. Yeah if you get your job done. Okay great. But if you're there to make people laugh and you don't, that's not good.

[00:13:26] I know. I know that's why I don't bill myself as a humorist I always like to be a surprise to them.

[00:13:32] You know that's the way I started my career I was a business speaker who was funny. Well first of all you get hired less at the time when we went through trouble in the economy people couldn't justify hiring a humorist. But they could hire a business speaker and if you're really funny they're all happy about that. So have you ever gotten screwed in business.

[00:13:58] I have. What's really interesting is that the attempt was made. So that same group of firefighters one of the women of all things in the group decided that because I didn't make everybody laugh. And she was the one who recommended me that they shouldn't pay me. So she actually called the agent who had booked it and bullied my agent and said you know we're not going to pay her because she didn't deliver the program we asked for. And my agent was ready to fold and I said wait a minute. And I called the guy who actually hired me. And I talked to him about it. and he said Oh no. Because he was there he said you delivered exactly the message I asked you to deliver. If they had no sense of humor about it all the better because they needed to hear what you had to say.

[00:14:53] Great yeah I've had one situation like that where a lady took me on like a limo ride outside of the company and wanted to tell me what she wanted delivered. But it turns out I was early in my career. She was setting me up. She wanted the message delivered but not from her. So if it were good she'd take credit for it. If It didn't. You know they almost threatened to sue me. So yeah so when I exposed that she shut up and paid and that was the end of that.

[00:15:25] Early on speakers like you and other people in the business that mentor us you know I remember early on saying that only it doesn't matter if the audience loves you the only one you need to please is the one that's going to sign your check.

[00:15:39] Yeah. Gravy if everybody's happy because that's how you get rebooked and referrals. But you gotta deliver what they want. I mean that was a little bit mean spirited on that lady's part. But anything crazy funny bizarre happen while you're doing your business.

[00:16:00] The one thing I will tell you is that I was in front of an audience of all places North Dakota and boy I'll tell you that's regularly the coldest place on the planet. And my mike went out and so the the guy I had one of those mic packs on the bass on my back. I walked over to the guy on the side of the stage and I lifted up my shirt and I said turn me on. and that got a big laugh.

[00:16:26] Yeah I had crazy stuff happen. A lot of young people don't know what it is. It's like when you're shaving and it's like looks like a piece of chalk but it will stop the blood if you cut yourself shaving. So one time my razor just got up in the inside of my nose and it bleeds like a stuck pig. and so I tell my secretary run to the drugstore get a styptic pencil so she runs down there she's looking all over. She calls me back. They don't have a styptic pencil they have styptic liquid. I said it must be newfangled. Bring it. So she brings it and I go to squeeze it onto my nose and it like spurts out all over my mouth into my mouth and everything. It's like an anesthetic. So I'm like drooling and getting ready to go on stage and my mouth won't work. So what do you like best about working for yourself and What's the worst part.

[00:17:41] Well they're probably the same actually. It's that you know it's all completely up to me. You know I'm the salesperson I'm the janitor. Yeah I haven't yet gotten into that bracket like you did where my account telling me to hire people. But you know I really it's all completely up to me. But what I like about that.

[00:18:07] That's perfect for somebody that hates details.

[00:18:10] I spoke in front of a bunch of female entrepreneurs a couple years ago and I said to them I know why you're an entrepreneur you're an entrepreneur for the same reasons I have. You're completely unemployable.

[00:18:25] That's what I am.

[00:18:29] I really love having it all be up to me and when I'm feeling sorry for myself. I really hate it being all up to me.

[00:18:39] Yeah. I know that feeling. So what do you have that people can buy. What do you have. How would they hire you, see your programs and things like that.

[00:18:50] My website is silverspeaks.com.

[00:18:56] We'll have everything in the show notes even if you come up with something new and send it to us and we'll put it in your show notes.

[00:19:04] And I have a couple of books. The one that's most relevant to this conversation is my most recent book that's called the incredibly useful book of delegation how to get people to do it right the first time. And so out of that book I've developed a workshop and it's I have a speech about I have a very funny speech about delegation where I go from I go through the history of delegation from when you try to you know when you were a child and your mother was trying to get you to get the food in the hangar you know the food was on a spoon in the airplane and you're trying to get to the hangar. And then when you were two years old you get the choice you want to get dressed before breakfast or after breakfast and so up to the point where as a friend of my early delegation career started when I was in eighth grade I was the bossy girl at eighth grade. The bossy girl in 8th grade was always telling everybody what to do. Just a natural leader that she's in charge. I do a whole thing on the history of delegation and then I have a workshop where I actually have leadership working hand you know we get a lot of exercises and things about how to learn how to delegate in a way that people really get it and they get it done right the first time.

[00:20:32] is This tied in with getting the best out of the employees.

[00:20:38] It's the same thing. It's really I have a three pronged approach to employee engagement. The first is delegating properly. The second is giving really really good feedback and the third is using laughter in the workplace.

[00:21:00] Absolutely. You know you asked me earlier if I deal with I really work mostly with small to mid-sized companies and I do a lot of work in public sector as well. But you know really anybody who's in a leadership position as you said if you're a one person shop and sometimes you're delegating to vendors and they don't they work for you directly but they work for you when they're doing their thing. So it works in all circumstances. And literally if I had had this knowledge when I was a manager in the computer software company my life would have been a whole lot easier.

[00:21:36] Yeah except then you might have stayed and we wouldn't get to hear you in the comedy clubs.

[00:21:41] Yeah it was really unlikely that I would stay I was once told by a new boss who came in and was you know they come in and try to spread their testosterone everywhere. And my title was manager of marketing intelligence which the sales guys used to tell me was an oxymoron. But this guy came in and told me I was little more than an office manager. Yeah that was really that was the beginning of the end.

[00:22:11] All right well we're going to take a quick break from our sponsor when we come back. We want you to tell folks about what a typical day looks like for you and how you stay motivated. Wouldn't it be nice if things happen faster in your business. Think about this if things happen faster you could get the same amount of work done in less time and have more free time or you could get way more accomplished in the same amount of time. Well my ebook How to automate your business shows you and your employees. I mean if you have them, tons of ways to work more efficiently on both your computer and your smartphone so check it out at GreatInternetMarketing.com/automate and we'll also have that in the show notes. So Silver tell us what a typical day looks like for you.

[00:23:08] Well I would be happy to do that Tom if I had a typical day.

[00:23:12] Give us a range of typical days.

[00:23:15] It's more like a typical week. I will be writing my blog which is free. It's called Change your focus engage your team. I would be sending out e-mails to prospective clients I would be on the phone with prospective clients. I would be customizing my program for a speech or a workshop coming up I would be following up on different things. It's really a combination the thing I do want to let people know who want to screw the commute. I think you can really reinforce this for me Tom is that if you hate sales don't quit your day job.

[00:23:53] Yeah you have to sell yourself one way or the other.

[00:23:56] Nobody's gonna come knocking on the door looking for you.

[00:23:59] Well no. The only thing I'll say about that Silver is if you go all internet and you have sales letters our there and email marketing and things like that you don't have to talk to people. If you're willing to talk to people you can accelerate everything for sure. But you don't have to if you do the internet stuff because you're kind of aloof from it all. And if you have customer service issues you might have to talk to people but that's different than trying to get them to buy in the first place.

[00:24:29] No that's true and that's where you know you're the king of that and you've taught me a lot about that. But you know it really is I knew my world speaking world it would be rare for them to hire me just based on a sale.

[00:24:41] They're not going to click into the shopping cart and give you $7000. I'm sure that happens for some people. They don't hire speaking through the shopping cart. I haven't spoken for a check for a long time. I sell at the back of the room is what my gig is. But speakers do use the Internet to bring in leads. And so that's what I help them with.

[00:25:12] Yeah. And you know I have to tell you and you know this because you started early on but there has never been a more amazing time to own your own business because there's so much you can do that doesn't cost you a penny. You know you've taught me how to go in and change my own Web site. I used to hire somebody to do that. Now I can go out and change my own Web site. There's a lot of stuff you could do on your own if you just are brave enough to do it. Because look I'm no genius here and I'm doing a lot of stuff that I never thought I could do. And it's all for free my blog I send out for FREE. I mean everything is amazing what you can do through the Internet. It's a great time to be an entrepreneur.

[00:25:52] All right so that's all the business stuff. I mean what's life like for you I mean what time do you get up have breakfast you go jogging what's the rest of your life.

[00:26:04] You know I usually get up about 6:00 in the Morning. I live in Phoenix Arizona. I don't get up at 6:00 because that's my natural rhythm. It's just that the business world pretty much operates for like eight to five. So and that's the world that I'm in. So I like to give myself some time in the morning. I'm not only not detail oriented I'm not routine oriented.

[00:26:39] Not a routine is still a routine. Because it doesn't have a set thing every day.

[00:26:46] And you know what I couldn't do that if I didn't say screw the commute.

[00:26:50] Well that's right. You got to go by somebody else's time schedule. What about when you're doing a late night comedy thing.

[00:26:58] No. Those are usually on the weekends. So you know in Phoenix especially this time of year I mean most of the comedy clubs are Friday and Saturday night. So I can sleep in if I want to but you know the good news is that I don't drink so I'm not hung over or any of that stuff. I can just get up a little bit later and be refreshed happy especially if it was a good show if it was a good show. I'm bouncing out of bed.

[00:27:24] Are they still allowed to smoke in clubs.

[00:27:26] That was the one thing that I hated because I had a nightclub for six years and was in smoke for 6 straight years and then I did a couple comedy clubs and I just couldn't stand it. After I've gotten out of the smoke I'm very sensitive to it now. I hated that, so that's gone. So that's the good thing.

[00:27:46] It's gone it's terrific.

[00:27:48] Now a lot of people that are going to start their own business as a solopreneur have real trouble with missing the camaraderie of corporate life. I tell them to go get a water fountain. Stand by and gossip to themselves. So how do you stay motivated as a solopreneur.

[00:28:12] Well you know you have to know whether you are an introvert or an extrovert and the difference is an introvert is somebody who goes inside when they're stressed they go inside to renew and an extrovert is somebody who goes to people if they're stressed out and renew and I'm an extrovert and one of the hardest things for me when I first started was you know I'm basically alone most of the time. So when you're speaking in front of thousands of people when you go to your hotel room afterwards you're alone.

[00:28:38] You're the same schmuck you were before you started. You're a big shot and an hour and that's it.

[00:28:41] That's right. Then you're dialing pizza places or watching Oprah reruns. I learned a lot about stuff from Oprah. I know how to put on women's pantyhose without tearing a hole in it.

[00:28:56] That's way too much information.

[00:29:01] Now you know what I learned that I need people and so like when I go to work on a program or I'm writing my blog I will go to a coffee shop because I'm surrounded by people. I got that energy but I don't have to interact with them so I can still get my work done.

[00:29:17] Yeah but I'll bet guys are trying to pick you up the whole time.

[00:29:20] From your lips to God's ears. But anyhow it's just that's what I do. And there's also shared workspaces that you can you could rent an office from a shared workspace. You know the other thing is you have to understand how to stay motivated. I mean I have the days where I think what the heck am I doing. And I know you use this in your office. I go to youtube and I look for videos that will either make me laugh or that will inspire me that motivate me to do more and again is one of the reasons that it's such a great time to be in business for yourself because you have those resources and you know look at a TED talk or something that will make you want to fight the good fight.

[00:30:05] Did you see that comedian on America's Got Talent that can't speak. Gotta check this out. He's some type of disable but he would never speak his Whole life he couldn't speak. So he's a stand up comedian and he has this computer thing with him that does the routine for him. You got to check it out. Just put can't speak comedian and check it out. You were here and you know that some of them make me cry they're emotional. I'm a guy that loves the underdog and I love to see somebody that broke through and they were so nervous you see that girl lately that kind of a Janis Joplin reincarnation. Check her out. Her name is Courtney Hadwin. I watched it a hundred times already.

[00:31:04] Same with me with Susan Boyle. Every single time I watch it. I just want to set the world on fire in a good way.

[00:31:13] There you go. That's a good way to say we haven't talked about that in Forty five episodes. Glad you brought that up. I can't let you go without telling about your name because everybody thinks it's fake.

[00:31:27] I know. And the thing in my stand up routine I would say these guys usually older guys will walk up to me and say was Silver your stripper name and Tom they never ever ask me is it your stripper name.

[00:31:43] It's always was it. It's always hurtful especially since it wasn't my stripper name. My stripper name is cotton candy. Silver's a nick name because of my hair color. My hair started to turn this color when I was 15 years old. It's hereditary. My dad's side of the family and for years I was really ticked off about it. But now I'm glad I take after my dad because my mother has a mustache.

[00:32:23] Are you sure it's your mother. How do you know.

[00:32:29] So yeah it's a nickname because of my hair color and it's just been a lot of fun.

[00:32:37] Well I was married to a man named Rose. But it was the second marriage for him. So I'm Second-Hand Rose.

[00:32:45] Would love to see one of your routines. Do you have any routines on youTube? Send us the links so we can put them in the show notes because I know people want to watch these things.

[00:32:59] These aren't the ones at the retirement communities these are ones at the club so they're not G rated.

[00:33:06] I mean we have to be non explicit on this podcast. But yes but we don't have to do it in the show notes. So how would people reach you if they wanted to ask you questions or talk to you about hiring you from the website.

[00:33:24] They can email me silver@silverspeaks.com. My website has my contact information. You know what I love to see one of my favorite things is the Emcee events because you go really customized comedy for that. You know I would like to say I have my primary speeches about delegation and employee engagement. I mean I have a speech I do about laughter in the workplace which is a lot of fun. I love what I do. And I'm having a good time on stage. So the people watching me usually have a good time as well.

[00:34:00] I think there's an opening at that Washington Correspondents Dinner for next year. I'm not sure that they might be looking for somebody like you.

[00:34:15] You know I think the guy who hired the last one he's in Siberia somewhere.

[00:34:19] Any parting thoughts for all our screwballs out there.

[00:34:25] You know my parting thought would be I wish this were true but I would say wouldn't it be great if you really could work your butt off.

[00:34:38] I don't know. There seems to be a trend. People like big butts. Now I don't know where that came from.

[00:34:44] It's a cultural thing for sure.

[00:34:47] All right. Thanks so much for taking the time. So you've been a hoot. Like I knew you would. This has been episode 45 everybody with silver rose, excuse me with cotton candy. Check out all her stuff mentioned in this episode and the show notes at screwthecommute.com/45. This episode is 45. Get yourself a copy of my popular e-book how to automate your business. Yeah it's a lot of tips in there that will save you from carpal tunnel. Now in the next Monday weekly training I'll be teaching you about viral marketing or how to get others to spread your name and products around. Again thanks to Silver and we'll see on the next episode. Please subscribe and leave a review. Catch you next time.

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