399 - Accountant turned sex therapist: Tom interviews Dr. April Brown - Screw The Commute

399 – Accountant turned sex therapist: Tom interviews Dr. April Brown

Dr. April Brown is a licensed mental health Christian counselor in three states. She's a nationally certified counselor, a Florida certified sex therapist and a qualified clinical supervisor. She also mentors three counselors, supervises 10 beginning counselor interns and she helps them get in their own private practice.

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Screw The Commute Podcast Show Notes Episode 399

How To Automate Your Businesshttps://screwthecommute.com/automatefree/

entrepreneurship distance learning school, home based business, lifestyle business

Internet Marketing Training Centerhttps://imtcva.org/

Higher Education Webinarhttps://screwthecommute.com/webinars

[05:16] Tom's introduction to Dr. April Brown

[11:55] Vacation counseling

[17:14] From accountant to sex therapist

[20:35] Counseling to mental health counseling to sex therapy

[23:19] Typical little girl with dolls

[25:27] Bringing intimacy back

[27:53] Tips for struggles and stressors

[35:28] Sponsor message

[38:45] A typical day for Dr. April and how she stays motivated

Entrepreneurial Resources Mentioned in This Podcast

Higher Education Webinarhttps://screwthecommute.com/webinars

Screw The Commutehttps://screwthecommute.com/

entrepreneurship distance learning school, home based business, lifestyle business

Screw The Commute Podcast Apphttps://screwthecommute.com/app/

College Ripoff Quizhttps://imtcva.org/quiz

Know a young person for our Youth Episode Series? Send an email to Tom! – orders@antion.com

Have a Roku box? Find Tom's Public Speaking Channel there!https://channelstore.roku.com/details/267358/the-public-speaking-channel

How To Automate Your Businesshttps://screwthecommute.com/automatefree/

Internet Marketing Retreat and Joint Venture Programhttps://greatinternetmarketingtraining.com/

Dr. April's websitehttps://www.draprilbrown.com/

Vacation Counselinghttps://www.vacationcounseling.com/

Counseling / Supervision Serviceshttps://fortmyerstherapist.com/


Email: info@draprilbrown.com

Internet Marketing Training Centerhttps://imtcva.org/

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Marc Bullard – https://screwthecommute.com/398/

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entrepreneurship distance learning school, home based business, lifestyle business

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Episode 399 – Dr. April Brown
[00:00:09] Welcome to Screw the Commute. The entrepreneurial podcast dedicated to getting you out of the car and into the money, with your host, lifelong entrepreneur and multimillionaire, Tom Antion.

[00:00:24] Hey, everybody it's Tom here with Episode three hundred ninety nine. Screw the podcast. I'm here with Dr. April Brown. Now, April started hosting her own radio podcast show called Bringing Intimacy Back, where she and other intimacy experts provide resources on increasing intimacy and all types of relationships.

[00:00:48] That's what she says the show is all about.

[00:00:51] Yes, it's about screwing just like your show.

[00:00:56] Yeah, it's really about getting guys like me to reveal our deepest, darkest, innermost craziness.

[00:01:02] That's it.

[00:01:04] And she sends people on vacation things. And I'm going to get her to tell us about that. I'm not sure what she does with those people, like lock them in a room and forces them to be happier.

[00:01:16] I don't think we'll find out.

[00:01:20] All right. So I hope you didn't miss Episode 398. That's my guy. He's worked for me for I don't know how many years. A long, long, long time. Marc Bullard on how to be successful on YouTube. What we did is we recap some of the basics because he's been on episodes before and we went over a bunch of the new stuff you need to know to be successful on YouTube. And you also want to keep an eye out for his new book coming out. I think it's the fourth edition of his YouTube marketing book. All right. So how would you like to hear your own voice here on screw the commute? Well, if the show has helped you out at all in your business or giving you ideas to help you start a business, we want to hear about it. Visit screwthecommute.com and look for a little blue sidebar that says send voicemail, click on it, talk into your phone or computer and tell me how the shows helped you and put your website in there so you can get a big shout out on a future episode of Screw the Commute. Now grab a copy of our Automation eBook. This is something we give away as a thank you for listening to the show. We sell it for twenty seven bucks to the general public. But just one of the tips in this book has saved me. We actually figured it out, estimated about seven and a half million keystrokes, definitely saved me carpal tunnel and it helps me ethically steal customers from people too slow to get back to people.

[00:02:44] So it'll knock your workload down. It'll just massively increase your speed of doing your business. So check that out at screwthecommute.com/automatefree. While you're over there, pick up a copy of our podcast app at screwthecommute.com/app where you can put us on your cell phone, tablet, take us with you on the road and you know how people give you an app and you got to try to figure the darn thing out. Well, no, we don't roll that way. We got videos and we got screen captures and everything to show you how to use all the fancy features so you don't get frustrated, try to use the darn thing. All right. Now, I know people still to this day are fighting with school is open. One day, schools closed. The next day, they got to stay home with the kids. They got to quit their job to be with the kid. I mean, just craziness because of this pandemic. But myself and my students don't don't have these kinds of worries because we know how to sell from home legitimately.

[00:03:45] Now, I've been selling on the commercial Internet since the commercial Internet started in 1994 and legitimately put together a school that's actually licensed by the state of Virginia. It's the only one in the country, probably the world that's a dedicated license school on the field of Internet marketing for small business. And it's licensed by the State Council on Higher Education in Virginia. But you don't have to be in Virginia because it's good quality distance learning. It's not like all these four year colleges that are ripping students off, teaching them how to protest. And then all of a sudden we got a distance program out of nowhere. So, no, we've been doing high quality distance learning for thirteen years in my school. And you actually get skills that you can that are in demand in the marketplace. That's the whole thing, is people are going and getting an MBA and then they're competing for jobs at Starbucks. No, we have students making money before they even graduate and it's a minimum of six months. Most people take between six months in a year, but they can be making money in a couple of months because every business on Earth needs these skills email marketing, shopping carts, chat bots, YouTube, marketing, all the everything else you can think of. That goes along with Internet marketing her small business. So check that out at IMTCVA.org and a little later I'll tell you how you can get a scholarship to the school if you're in my mentor program.

[00:05:17] All right. Let's get to the main event. Dr. April Brown is here. She's a licensed mental health Christian counselor in three states. She's wanted in three states. I hear the Florida, Wisconsin and New Jersey. She's a nationally certified counselor. And this is probably why I'm having her on. She's a Florida certified sex therapist. And, you know, we don't have them on every day and a qualified clinical supervisor. She has a thriving practice. And since 2005 in Florida, where she specializes in relationships and sex therapy and emotional support, animal now. Now, she's given me so many chances for jokes that I'm not going to say. But but I knew I was going to ask her one thing. I'll try to get her to help me with. I have a boy and a girl dog. And every time the boy wants to have sex with the girl dog, she growls at him and bites him. I'm just wondering if that's normal in relationships. It's happened to me quite a few times, too. So let's say as an entrepreneur, which is this is what we're all about.

[00:06:29] She also mentors three counselors and supervises 10 beginning counselor interns. And again, so many jokes. They're kind of a beginning sex counselor. I wonder what kind of mistakes they make and she helps them anyway get in their own private practice. So, Dr. April, are you ready to screw? The commute?

[00:06:56] Yes. Let's go.

[00:06:58] All right. So so I had a blast being on your show not too long ago. And and you got stuff out of me that nobody's ever heard me say in public, that's for sure. So. So tell everybody what you're doing now, then we'll take you back to see how you came up through the through the ranks to get where you are today.

[00:07:17] Ok, so I like your show. It's not about screwing. What I do is help people not only better, but also have you know, because that is really and even when you're talking about what the got, it's about that connection.

[00:07:33] So on your vacations, do you hear people like growling and biting and stuff?

[00:07:38] Yes. But see, growling and biting can be very playful. The intimacy of sex is all about sex. Not really, you know.

[00:07:47] Well, as long as they have their shots, so.

[00:07:53] Yes, yes, and it's about desire. So what I do is I help couples and I help individuals feel connected. I'm also a mental health counselor. So we work on those issues and have a thriving practice here in southwest Florida. I also have a podcast Bringing Intimacy Back, a retreat thing called vacation counseling and in the process of finishing up.

[00:08:16] So I got a question for you. Did you ever hear the place in Florida called The Villages? Are you anywhere near there?

[00:08:21] Yes, I'm now I'm about two hours away from there.

[00:08:25] Yeah, because I heard that that's pretty wild. Kind of a sex place.

[00:08:30] Yes, yes. Yes. But it's mostly for people who are. I'm still young.

[00:08:35] I know you look like you're a kindergartener.

[00:08:38] Yes. Yeah. The that think. But it's mostly for the senior citizens to get connected with other senior citizens.

[00:08:44] Yeah, but I also heard you tell me if this is true, that has it's one of the highest incidences of STDs in the country.

[00:08:53] Yes. Yes. Because they're getting connected. That's what I said.

[00:08:56] Oh, is that what you mean by connected? Yeah. I guess they don't worry about pregnancy or something so much.

[00:09:01] I say you don't have any of the nothing else to do. You just drink and get connected to get connected.

[00:09:07] Okay. That's our buzzword here. So yeah. One lady I was reading a news article who was out at the pavilion with some other guy and got caught by the police following her getting connected, OK. And then she got back to her normal drinking place and they're like everybody's, you know, giving her a standing ovation. They named a drink after and. Yes, wow, that's intimate. So, yeah. So so you help people that have trouble with this or what?

[00:09:40] Yes, I help people that have trouble with it. Sometimes single people do because they just don't know what they're doing or they're inexperienced. But a lot of times I focused mostly on couples who have lost that desire that like you said, that grunting that, you know, wanting and passion for each other because of stress in a variety of things. So that's kind of what I do.

[00:10:00] That's what I feel right now. You say you help people like the single people, like you're not a sex surrogate, are.

[00:10:07] You know, I'm not a sex I don't touch.

[00:10:09] Ok, all right. But but you know of that that profession.

[00:10:13] Right, right. Right. And that helps some people. There are some people that that need that they need the hands on experience of hands.

[00:10:26] Yeah. Oh. Now, do you have people that you refer to sex surrogates.

[00:10:32] Yes. So you have a bunch of them, you know, about that that are taking referrals, right?

[00:10:39] Right, right. Does Medicare cover that? Yeah, everybody asks about insurance. So I get that question of insurance really on the covers of your sick.

[00:10:51] And so when it comes to I'm very positive sex, so I don't see any sex, that's sickness.

[00:11:00] Well, lack of sex, that's all. I could make you sick.

[00:11:07] Well, yes, yes, yes, yes. We all do need to at least in this area there.

[00:11:12] Is there any truth to the kind of blue balls kind of thing where, you know, it really hurts or something if you haven't released?

[00:11:23] Not necessarily, no. However. Yeah, that's right, guys. Just outside. Yeah. Gibberish.

[00:11:30] However, for men, it is helpful if they release two to three times a week, it makes them more productive.

[00:11:37] Oh, I read that. I thought I read something about that. I thought it was per day.

[00:11:42] Oh, you must be extremely productive. But by by my hand it really hurts.

[00:11:50] Yeah. If you get arthritis you're really screwed over. So. So tell us more about those vacation things. Like I said to you, to tie them into a room and force them to be happier with it. How does that work?

[00:12:03] So what vacation counseling is about? If you're in this area, we set you up in one of the vacation rentals here and the client for this. Yeah, they can fly. Yeah. And counselors will come into the vacation rental and help you and your partner get it on and have a more productive, you know. Situation and that kind of stuff, and we provide counseling service and stuff, so that's one way. How long how long is it? Oh, it's like four days or a week. I also customized the program. So if you want to come here for two weeks, I can come in. You come here for two weeks and we provide services for two weeks for you. Wow.

[00:12:45] So it's not only just counseling where you're learning about yourself and emotions and all that, but we also provide activities where you can have fun things. And then I also just I'm launching a new service where I will travel to your vacation spot. Oh, wow.

[00:13:01] For you and your partner, they have homework and stuff. Like they go to class all day and then they have to go try this stuff at night or what? How does it work?

[00:13:09] Yeah, the homework. It's like homework, like, you know what I'm saying? Like going on a boat ride. And just being connected in the the seas, in the water and having some champagne and all that kind of stuff or getting massages, which is really great. What about massaging each other? Yes. And massaging each other. Yes. OK, so what about the different spots that are erotic for each person?

[00:13:34] So, you know, you and I are in a mastermind where we have to we have goals for each week and then we have to tell if we achieved them or not to the the people have to come back with video to prove that they did what you told them to.

[00:13:49] Oh, nothing I can tell right away, oh, really connecting in his nod, yes, yes, you can see it.

[00:13:57] Do you get people coming to these things that are like close to being divorced? I mean, it's things are so bad that it's like this is the last ditch before they split up.

[00:14:09] Right. Right. So when they first come in, sometimes you see that they don't even sit next to each other so far away. And by the end, you know, their hands are in each other's throats.

[00:14:23] That's not that, you know, whatever. Yes.

[00:14:27] Wow. And so some people do it as a last ditch effort. But then couldn't some people do it to, like, take their relationship to another level?

[00:14:37] Right, exactly. Exactly. So we work with both sides. Before you get here, we'll give you an assessment. That's a couple so we can see where you're at and then we are specifically on those needs.

[00:14:48] Ok, so you keep saying we is that these interns or these other counselors that you're training or what? Who was involved in the process?

[00:14:56] There's other counselors. I do most of the sex therapy and I can do some woman's counseling, of course, marriage. But I have other therapists underneath me and work beside me that also.

[00:15:06] Yeah, you got to watch how you say that underneath you. Yeah. So so the sex therapy part I'm really intrigued by this. Is this like a in a classroom where you got a whiteboard or a projector and showed them PowerPoint slides or you know, you just talking to them. How does it work?

[00:15:24] Yeah, we just talk about cases. I've never actually been certified and trained. And so in the certification, we talk about cases and that kind of stuff. But then we also like watching and it was like two days or three days of just pouring all kinds of porn. No kidding. No, no, no kidding. OK, I seen. Yes. So you're able to understand and not be like, oh my gosh, I can't believe that person is doing that kind of stuff because some people get erotic for a variety of things, from animals to urine to. Breast milk?

[00:15:59] Yeah, I mean, it's crazy, it's crazy. So are you trying to find out what theirs is or can when they just tell you or that's what sometimes they tell you, but sometimes helping people explore.

[00:16:12] Wow. Yes. To see what you like and what you don't like and what turns you on. But is it the porn stuff.

[00:16:20] Kind of. So over the top, like I've read articles from, you know, female porn stars, it says, oh my God, that desk hurts like crazy, but you got to do it right. Isn't it like so over the top that people would feel inadequate, that they couldn't possibly live up to that kind of stuff?

[00:16:41] Right. Right, right. In some aspects, definitely. And porn. How can I put it?

[00:16:48] It's OK if you watch it together sometimes.

[00:16:51] But for some people, a point does not excite them and that makes them upset or mad. And for some couples, porn is actually a form of cheating. You know, it really depends on what you and your partner have agreed upon.

[00:17:04] Yeah, because some people have gotten divorced over, you know, the husband or being usually the husband being addicted, right?

[00:17:13] Yes. So not for everybody.

[00:17:15] All right. So let's take you back. How did you get into this this line of work? What made you decide? You know what? I really want to help people screw better. You know, they ask kids, what do you want to be when you grow up? I mean, were you a little girl saying, no, no, no, not not at all.

[00:17:35] I was very good with numbers and I am still very good with numbers. And so when I was growing up, numbers was thing I wanted to do. And so I end up being an accountant. Oh, and oh man.

[00:17:48] You talk about opposite ends of the spectrum.

[00:17:50] An accountant says yes. You guys ever wonder what percentage of people on earth are or that you're the only one?

[00:18:01] So I worked at one of the largest pizza place as one of their accountants of all the Tennessee stores of pizza and was having a kid and all this other kind of stuff and just was feeling broadnax.

[00:18:13] Wait a minute, you just kind of blew that off. My I'm having a kid and other kind of stuff.

[00:18:18] You know, you have kids, right?

[00:18:21] Yes, I have kids. OK, what do you got? I have a twenty. She leaves today. I'm a 26 year old. Twenty five year old. We see what today? She's where she lives. She leaves today. She's been with me down here for a while, but she goes back to New York. Oh, she's in the publishing field. OK, yeah. So she just stayed here for my birthday.

[00:18:41] Well, what's the sense to go back to New York? There's nothing there anymore. Everybody, let's take quit the lifestyle.

[00:18:47] That's her life. OK, so anyway, yeah, I was working like twenty five hours, not twenty five. Eighty hours a week now. Yes. And then something.

[00:18:58] I'm a very spiritual person and so I felt like God was telling me to just quit and I was like, oh my gosh, how am I going to make money? And so in that process of having a baby and all that, then he just told me, you know, I want you to go back to school for counseling. I actually had a dream about it. And I was like, no, I don't like people. I'm sorry.

[00:19:16] Please tell me this isn't going to be it.

[00:19:21] But yeah, I said, if I get into one school, I'll go and that's what happened. So I went to school and back to Florida states where I graduated from.

[00:19:29] Ok, I know Florida State, Bobby Bowden recruited me when he for football when he was at West Virginia University. He's sitting in my living room. Yeah, with a Ford dealer back in the days when you could just bribe the kids to go anywhere. Yeah.

[00:19:47] Yeah. You got going.

[00:19:49] I went, oh no. I went to w yeah, I went to WVU and then he left and they hung him in effigy on when he went to Florida State. But yeah he was in my living room when I was a kid when I was there.

[00:20:02] Oh awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Big fat.

[00:20:05] Yeah. He's endorsed my book in fact because he's a pretty good speaker and I have a book on public speaking and he gave me an endorsement for it. So so. All right. But so you went into a school of counseling, but it wasn't sex counseling right off the bat, was it?

[00:20:25] No, no, no. Actually, I did school counseling and mental health counseling, so I worked as a school counselor and then started working as a mental health counseling practice, then created my own practice.

[00:20:36] All right. But then now.

[00:20:37] So where where is that? There.

[00:20:39] Where? Yeah. Where is that moment when you went from counseling to mental health counseling, then to sex therapy, probably an inspiration of a European.

[00:20:52] Another dream or something. No dream, but also your wet dream European guy probably encouraged me.

[00:21:01] And a European guy. Yes. How did he encourage it?

[00:21:06] They're very open and just by showing me different things. And I was like, oh, maybe I should go into this.

[00:21:14] I mean, when you say showing you different things, he's not a client.

[00:21:18] He's not a client. So let me just put it.

[00:21:20] Okay. Right, right. But but so he showed you sexual things, is that what you said?

[00:21:26] Oh, yeah. We were just talk about sexual things. Just talk. Just talk what we're talking experience.

[00:21:34] Okay. I'm going to dig into you like you got me to bare my soul.

[00:21:38] Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

[00:21:40] So I guess that I'm talking about so so a European guy got you from a mental health counselor to be a sex therapist. And is that when you started your practice?

[00:21:52] No, I started my practice as a mental health.

[00:21:55] All right, so let's talk about the transition from working in for somebody else to did you save up money?

[00:22:02] Did you quit the how did you get the same year? The same European guy.

[00:22:09] The same European guy? He's actually one of my partners, the same European guy. I was working part time in my own private practice, but my private practice had started to just blossom. It was just going to. And so the job I was working at a University of a counseling and they were requesting a lot. And I was like in my mind was like, I cannot just quit my job because I have a daughter in college. I mean, I'd be so irresponsible. You cannot do that. And it's like April just doesn't make sense. You're making more money in your private practice. And so finally, after 10 years, I quit my job.

[00:22:45] Oh, so you have to think about it for ten years.

[00:22:48] Yes, but I was working 80 hours again. Yeah. Working on Sundays and everything. Yeah, I was just doing it all. Yes. But yeah I know sometimes it takes a while for me to. Yes.

[00:23:01] Well, well yeah. 80 hours a week. You know in the old joke is is I never met a counselor that didn't need one. Right. So I took you ten years to get out of that. So. So what's it. I'm going to get into that later. But where were you, what were you like as a little girl.

[00:23:22] As a little girl, I probably would have been into this whole sex thing.

[00:23:27] Yeah, I used to play with Barbie dolls and was interested in all this is, I guess, middle school, I guess interested and in sex and all that kind of stuff and how people interact and stuff.

[00:23:38] But a quiet little girl that I'd like to play with dolls and watch people and stuff so. And read books. So. So my mom's my mom's novels. So I think about it.

[00:23:50] She wrote novels now.

[00:23:53] Now. But just like The Valley of the Dolls, all these little sex.

[00:23:56] Oh OK. So so when was your first sexual experience?

[00:24:01] And when I was, I think 15, 50 and it was with another person or or not, I know another person. Yeah. And how did it go?

[00:24:14] Oh, well, we're still good friends.

[00:24:16] Ok, but so it was a positive experience, it wasn't. Oh, you know, this was terrible.

[00:24:27] It's kind of complicated.

[00:24:28] Oh, there's a song called That.

[00:24:31] Yeah, the first person that kind of introduced me to everything was great. But then we kind of broke up and I did something with somebody else, and that wasn't so great, they went back to him and that was great.

[00:24:41] Ok. All right. So 15 now. Was he. Older than 18.

[00:24:49] No, no, no, he was only two years older than me.

[00:24:52] Ok, so that's close to you know, you can't cross that line, you know, in the United States.

[00:24:58] No, I know. Yeah.

[00:24:59] So now do you know a lot out of me?

[00:25:06] I'm getting a lot out of you and nothing into you felt that way. I know.

[00:25:12] We're going to have to mark this is explicit, this episode.

[00:25:14] This is a we did have another sex therapist with our daughter, who's a sex therapist from Australia a while back. And we made that explicit.

[00:25:24] Yes. So this vacation, I'm, well, tell us about more about the show because I was on it. And, you know, I'm sure you regret that. But I was so tell about the show.

[00:25:40] Oh, so bring an intimacy back, and the reason why I was working with couples and for some reason also going into I went into sex therapy, besides, they would just argue, argue, argue, and there would be no intimacy, no connection, nothing. And you can use all these techniques, but it still doesn't make them connect. You know, you can use techniques and help them communicate and stuff. And so it wasn't until I started to realize, you know, they're not touching. They're not connecting. They're not kissing. And so that's what kind of also inspired me to help me think about, you know, going into sex therapy and so with bringing intimacy back, it's also about sex. But it's also there's more to sex than just write the physical aspect. And if you just so focused on orgasms, which are great, I mean, I love them myself, but it's about playing together. And so sometimes when men get so focused on, oh my gosh, my pleasing her, can I get an erection? Others, they forget to play and when they forget to play and they're so in their head, that's what happens to their penis.

[00:26:50] I've heard that. Yeah. So I get it. But but yeah, you're right because you know there's 24 hours in a day. Right. And if it only takes me 30 seconds for sex, I got all that other time to fill my life.

[00:27:10] So that's why you should play. Yeah. It's like those dogs are growling and biting, you know, Antion. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have a wonderful young lady that you told me. Yeah, yeah.

[00:27:23] It's great if you guys chase each other around the house and you know. Yeah. Oh yeah. But I did learn some good lessons in my interactions with women over the years is once you don't play and wrestle and that kind of stuff right after they got their nails done. That's good. Because you will get better.

[00:27:42] Yes. Or if they get their hair done.

[00:27:45] Yeah. Yeah. Either either one. You wait, you wait a while until something else messes it up and then you can you can go for it. Yeah. So what would you let's take two different perspectives. So what if people were having problems that are listening to this. Some of it can be because of money. You know, a lot of times, you know, a lot of stress in relationships is over money. And a lot of our people are trying to start. Businesses are in business. So what would you tell them? Even if they are having those kind of struggles, what would be some tips to keep from letting the whole thing fall apart just because they're having some financial troubles or they're you know, they're they're busy in a business.

[00:28:30] Ok, and so one of the things that I'm attributing about the individual person being unhappy with with their life and what they're doing about it in a business or in anything that you do, you realize that you have to love it because you spend more time at work than anything else. So some time it's finding your passion.

[00:28:51] I mean, something that you're passionate about and trying to study, but all of this, like you were saying earlier, requires energy, you know, starting a business, feeding your family, taking care of your husband and all that. So it starts, I think, personally with a one on oneself and learning what we call self intimacy.

[00:29:13] Do you know why? I may have some thoughts in my mind about it, but you're here. Well, you're you're the doctor.

[00:29:23] You think it's getting connected with yourself, you know, in self care, whatever that looks like for you. For some people, it's working now. For some people, it's doing art and treating yourself very well and also being very positive. One of the things in relationships and business and everything else do not ever, ever say anything negative about yourself because you're going to be with yourself for the rest of your life. So you've got to love that body. Love that spirit. Love yourself.

[00:29:57] Yeah, absolutely, take it from the couple's perspective, let's say they know they they're having trouble, what are some of the things that they can do to to turn to turn the tables?

[00:30:08] Ok, so even deal with that a little bit. Going with the couples is first. You've got to be comfortable with yourself, OK? Because for some couples, they start to not connect because one partner or both partner, especially with Kobe and everything, they don't feel sexy, OK, you know, staying the gain weight and they've done a variety of things and they don't feel sexy. You got to start to feel sexy yourself. That's one of the things that we work on. The other thing is learning how to find time for each other. We're in such a busy, busy world right now. So setting time aside just to be with your partner. But when you're being with your partner, you have to truly be there. What I mean is you have to practice mindfulness, body, mind.

[00:30:53] You can't be on your cell phone.

[00:30:54] So you just sit there on your cell phone or your body can't be there in your mind and somewhere else, you know, and when that happens, that's when people don't really, you know, enjoy intimacy and all that kind of stuff. The other thing it's like I said, it's just plain not having so much pressure, you know, on, you know, what I expect you to do. And also having the courage. Some people don't have the courage to initiate interaction with their partner. They're like, oh, I'm so afraid of. I don't know. And this may be more of a women thing where they're afraid to initiate.

[00:31:29] But that guys you guys love. Yeah. Why would they be afraid?

[00:31:33] Because sometimes. OK, so there are some of us when we get stressed, we have the accelerator on for sex. We really want sex while there are others of us. When we're stressed, we have the to. OK, and so sometimes of men, some men who are very stressful and they got a lot of things going on, they may say, no, not now, they may just kind of reject their partner. They're like, oh, my gosh, I'm not going to initiate any time again. Because he said no. This time, maybe it's how I look and all this other stuff when really it was something in his mind and he was just busy, exhausted, no energy. So going back to one of your thing, another thing is, as a couple, you have to save energy for each other. You cannot give all your energy to your work. To everybody else and then into the bedroom with zero energy, because that's nothing's going to happen. Another thing is there's a lot of different toys, computer things that can help couples explore themselves. There's I think we talked about it on your show, but there's a lot of toys that couples can use when they're far away from each other. You interact.

[00:32:50] I'm all ears.

[00:32:51] Let's hear so there's toys where you can put on different body parts and your partner can be in Kansas and you're in South Carolina and you press a button and it causes your partner to get aroused. That's pretty good.

[00:33:11] It's a lot of different things, but I imagine that's USB.

[00:33:16] Yeah, it could be Bluetooth or blue balls.

[00:33:20] I think you did it with an app for that. Yeah, of course.

[00:33:27] It's not as crazy as you might think, because years ago I was reporting on something where people could have a device that would mix different fragrance fragrances, you know, provided by a fragrance company. So you could actually do the mix that they say. And this is what that is going to smell like when you buy it from a.

[00:33:53] That's pretty crazy. Yes, so wow, so where do you get these at the App Store where you buy these kind of the Best Buy? I'm a good at a Best Buy today and say, look, I was just talking to this lady. You have this here. Yes. The court that will say now we got a special order that. Well, yeah, that's what's it called sex and tech. Is that the is that.

[00:34:22] Yes, yes. Yeah. I have an episode on my on my podcast called Sex Tech, and it talks about all the sexual technology, things that.

[00:34:31] Wow, wow, wow, wow. Yeah. So now but you know, they've been making these I don't know, in Japan or China or something. These like highly realistic sex dolls.

[00:34:45] Yeah, yeah, we're going to go there and some of them have moving parts in them and I don't know.

[00:34:52] I don't know.

[00:34:53] So it's really good for that person who, you know, is it is it really good?

[00:34:56] Because now they're not really working on real human interaction.

[00:35:00] Yeah, but still, they're they may need that before they can.

[00:35:04] Yeah, I just. Yeah. I mean, it could be a stepping stone I guess. And they're expensive, but they're probably cheaper than having a girlfriend, you know.

[00:35:15] Yeah. That the wrong girlfriend. You know, they say that when you find the one you'll know it right away.

[00:35:22] But when you got the wrong one, why is it taking like years so. Oh, man. So.

[00:35:30] All right. Well, we got to take a brief sponsored break. When we come back, we'll ask Dr. April what's a typical day look like for her and how she stays? Usually for most guess I say how she stays motivated, I'm going to say, and how she stays stimulated.

[00:35:46] So so, folks, about twenty three years ago now, I kind of turned the Internet marketing world on its head and the guys at my level were charging 50 or 100 grand up front to teach people what they knew about Internet marketing for small business. And I knew a lot of these people. You give them fifty grand up front, they'd be they'd be buying sex toys and disappear in Mexico for you. It wouldn't help you. So so I kind of turned that on its head and I charged an entry fee, which was much lower and kind of made them mad and then tied my success to your success. So for me to get my fifty grand, you got to make two hundred grand. Wow. People, people really like this and seventeen hundred plus students later. It's still going strong in twenty, twenty 23 years have been doing that, that training and it's very unique. It's the, it's the longest running, most unique, most successful mentor program in Internet marketing of its kind. And I have no trouble saying that because for years I've been daring people to put their programs line for line up against mine and nobody will do it because mine is just massively powerful and unique.

[00:36:58] It's all one on one and nobody at my level even talk to you, let alone teach anything. And you have one on one training with all myself and everybody that works here so that you're not lumped in with people more advanced or less advanced where you're either bored or you're you're lost. That's one thing. Then you have an immersion weekend as soon as the pandemic's over at the great Internet Marketing Retreat Center, it's this big estate home of mine in Virginia Beach. And we have a big TV studio here, full TV studio, where we shoot marketing videos for you and then you get a scholarship to the school. I was telling you about earlier that you can either use yourself for extra training or gift to someone. And it would be the greatest legacy gift you could give a young person, a nephew, niece, grandchild, your own kids. We had one guy pay eighty thousand bucks for his kids crappy education. She's working a crappy job. And he give he joined the mentor program, gifted the scholarship to his daughter. And she's now after four months in the school only she's up to six thousand dollars a month as a side hustle.

[00:38:09] So this is very, very powerful things, though, actually have a skill. Internet marketing is considered by the state of Virginia to be vocational, so they'll actually have a skill that's in high demand. But anyway, check out my mentor program.

[00:38:25] I can take your business from either nothing or starting an online business, or if you're more advanced, we'll take you up to a higher level. So check it out at greatInternetmarketingtraining.com. Get a hold of me. No pressure here. We'll talk about your future and your loved ones. Future online.

[00:38:47] All right. Let's get back to the main event. We got Dr. April Brown here. She's a licensed mental health counselor, but specifically a sex counselor making our episode explicit this today, which is only the second one. And they both been sex counselors. So, April, what's a typical day look like for you? Do you have, like, the morning routine that we talk about in our mastermind's? And what do you eat? They work out how how's it go on a typical day?

[00:39:17] So I wake up at four thirty. Oh, my God. Yes. Yes, I do. About like said, I'm a very spiritual person, so I do about an hour of have a lot of things. Wow. Yes. And then I go workout. What do you do.

[00:39:33] And so I do like thirty minutes of the elliptical and then thirty minutes of weights.

[00:39:39] You go somewhere. Do you have it at your house.

[00:39:42] Actually where we live there's a little ok. No, I go go there, yep, and then come back and get dressed.

[00:39:51] And sometimes it takes me two or three hours to get to work.

[00:39:53] But whatever it is you screw in the community, do you get up when you feel like it all right.

[00:40:00] Yes, yes, yes, yes. And so on days, I see clients.

[00:40:05] I may see clients from eight o'clock to about six o'clock at night. But the white our brain. So it's it's sometimes seven to eight clients back to back.

[00:40:14] Wow, how do you keep track of all the.

[00:40:17] Oh, it's well, it's exciting each each story and each client I see and fully present.

[00:40:25] Mm hmm. You know what I'm saying? So I'm helping them out.

[00:40:27] I was going to ask you if you ever fell asleep during a session, but.

[00:40:30] No, no, I'm as long as you're like, hi, Pete and I'm Heidi. And those kind that are not my big thing, they don't stay with me. I want I be like you. You have your tone and your voice is that high pitched, OK? And if your monotone, like, just super depressed, I'm probably not the best.

[00:40:53] Ok, but these are mostly couples or individual couples.

[00:40:58] Some individuals actually now because of everything that's happened in the last two or three years, I've seen a lot of African-Americans come see maybe four, maybe three percent of my practice was. But now mental health has become a big topic. So people are more willing to come in and stuff.

[00:41:16] So how do you do that? Do you do a technique like where you meet them as a couple and then you meet individually with that?

[00:41:25] Exactly, exactly. So when I meet for a couple when I meet you guys first, you've already filled up paperwork. I know the back story. And then you guys come in and I talk with you and all that kind of stuff, and then I will meet with each of you individually. And I give you an assessment. I've been trained through Gotmen, so it's like a four hundred and eight question assessment. Wow. You meet back to get together again and we start working on stuff and some individuals. Yeah. So it's a process. It's Yes. Yes, yes.

[00:41:54] And so then come home does that every day. That is four days.

[00:41:58] Four days a week.

[00:42:00] Yeah, wow, yeah, one day it's been on the podcast, and then one day it's been on the book.

[00:42:06] All right.

[00:42:07] So it's a busy, busy schedule. And then so when do you have time for you? When you time.

[00:42:14] Yes. So it's either Sundays or when I take time off sometimes that we have to take time off, of course, to have time.

[00:42:21] You keep saying we who's we?

[00:42:24] We had me and my partner or me and my family.

[00:42:27] Ok, great. And so with this hectic schedule, how do you keep yourself motivated?

[00:42:35] How do I keep myself motivated one thing by loving myself and then also do these are these people?

[00:42:43] Is this an insurance based? Because, you know, we're talking about business here.

[00:42:47] No, I don't do any insurance. I used to take insurance. OK, but the amount of time I spend on the phone trying to get claims through right is ridiculous. In fact, I recently a claim came through. I stopped taking insurance three years ago and the claim just recently came. Oh my God, I'm so pissed off about it. But anyway, so now I don't take any insurance.

[00:43:09] Ok, so people pay by credit card or check that.

[00:43:13] I do. I do have people and I know you shouldn't, I should say underneath me, but I do have insurance that it's a cheaper rate. So if you could not afford me, which some people can, I have other people that I will sign you to and you will get great service because I supervise them and stuff. So, yeah, and I do a lot of all the counseling I'm doing now is virtual, but I do have a big office here and I do have some of my insurance. They see people in person.

[00:43:42] Yeah. So people don't really know where you live. Right. Nobody knows. Right. Right. Good. Yeah. So.

[00:43:50] And you stay motivated how I stay motivated first thing I have a strong faith in, so God tell me to do this. So that's number one. Number two, I love helping people. That just gets me so excited. I do also like making money.

[00:44:05] And how long you've been doing the sex therapy part, the sex therapy.

[00:44:09] Now, it's maybe five years now.

[00:44:11] Do you do you actually get people following up with you later?

[00:44:14] Say you save them and and we've got kids now because of you and all that stuff?

[00:44:20] Yes. Yes, yeah. And then I've had kids come see me. I'm getting old.

[00:44:27] Do they ever name their kids after. No, I don't think so. Oh you. You never know. Maybe.

[00:44:33] Wow. So yeah. So this has been a crazy, crazy episode and you're quite and I want to say character because you're really doing great things really. It's just a lot of people don't talk about them. You know, that's probably one of the reasons they get in trouble if they refuse to talk about it.

[00:44:54] But definitely and it's great to hear that you have a retreat center.

[00:44:58] Oh, yeah. Yeah. This this has been something. Yeah, this has been twenty, twenty one years, you know. Nineteen years, something like, you know, since 2001. So it would be like twenty years now.

[00:45:11] Now you dig into people's backgrounds. It's like I'm trying to think if somebody grew up with, you know, a puritan type, you know, sex is dirty, they're going to grow up into an adult that has certain ideals like we do that and sometimes even.

[00:45:31] The church is sometimes put this negative connotation about sex, so people like, well, you know, I can't do this and you don't realize that I call them God or higher power. He created sex.

[00:45:43] Yeah, that's true. Got a point there. He didn't he didn't really create between, you know, older religious people and little boys, but.

[00:45:54] Right.

[00:45:56] But he created between man and woman. And, you know, of course, it's been expanded between men and men and women and women. But it's there and it's positive and it's using our body to release because we have so much stress, you know what I'm saying? So much. And so I don't know how you feel. But once you have that release, it's such a great feeling and you feel so connected, which is really I don't know how I feel either.

[00:46:22] I'm asleep, but I know that you and your partner have a great time.

[00:46:31] Yeah. Yeah. After, you know, once a year. Yeah.

[00:46:35] It's like it's like if you get those sex toys you can, you know. Oh, I forgot about that. Yeah. So you guys can be hopping and doing things.

[00:46:46] All of it kind of kind of reminds me. Did I tell you on the thing how I, I had an entertainment company and I went to Santa school. No, I didn't tell you about that. Yes, my mother was such hell on wheels, I never wanted to go home at Christmas to visit, so I went to Santa school. So so I'd have an excuse not to go. But the old joke is, is what's the worst thing about Santa? It's is that he only comes once a year and that's and that's down the chimney.

[00:47:19] And I used to play I do the kids' parties, you know, and then the kids are go to sleep and then I'd stay and do the adult, you know, like naughty Santa.

[00:47:28] And I'd be like, hey, Santa has been known to lay a few dolls under the Christmas tree and they come and sit on Santa's space and tell them what you want for Christmas is very, very sacrilegious for Santa's lovers out there.

[00:47:45] But why it's so much fun talking to you, Dr. April. So tell them tell them how they get a holiday if they're interested in these vacations and what if they need. So they could be any. Now, are you if somebody in Ohio that's are you not licensed there or can you actually counsel somebody in a different state?

[00:48:08] Well, I am nationally certified.

[00:48:10] Oh, so any state somebody or will they connect with me?

[00:48:15] What if I. In Canada.

[00:48:18] Yes, yes, I've counseled some individuals and, OK, great, so so there's no restriction that they have to be in Florida and south.

[00:48:27] Of course, when it comes to couples, I don't do individuals in other states. OK. Yes. Because there's, you know, some guidelines there. But to do couples counseling and sex therapy, that's fine.

[00:48:40] Ok, beautiful. So how do they get home?

[00:48:42] You so probably the best way and the easiest way to remember is to just go to my website, DrAprilBrown.com. Like he says, I do have to retreat vacation counseling. If you search that, that has a website, vacationcounseling.com or you can just email me at info@DrAprilBrown.com. And of course just watching the bring an intimacy back show.

[00:49:17] Yeah, that's right. Yeah. And that's every Thursday at what time is it.

[00:49:21] Three p.m. It's like three p.m. What time zone. 3:00 p.m. Eastern. 12:00 p.m. Pacific. Got it. Yeah.

[00:49:31] It's also a podcast. So you can you can watch it at three o'clock. The episodes are always there and it's on YouTube too.

[00:49:38] And if they happen to be there live, they can interact and ask questions and stuff.

[00:49:43] Right, right. Right, right. But if you search me through social media and you have questions, feel free to ask me and I'll answer it and maybe also put it in the show of some sort.

[00:49:53] Beautiful. Beautiful. Well, thanks so much for coming on, doc.

[00:49:57] Oh, thank you. I had such a what.

[00:49:59] Oh yeah. We, we, we have a blast. Okay. So. All right, thanks so much. And we'll catch everybody on the next explicit episode I guess. I don't know.

[00:50:10] And the be careful on those vacation things so that she doesn't lock you up and make you be happy.

[00:50:15] Yes. You're welcome to come on one of those vacation things.

[00:50:18] Do you come by yourself? Can you provide somebody to be everyone? I know that's a different kind of service, a different topic.

[00:50:27] All right, everybody, we'll get you to the next episode. See ya later.

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