495 – The guilt of deployment may never go away: Tom interviews James Felts

Episode 495 – James Felts
[00:00:09] Welcome to Screw the Commute. The entrepreneurial podcast dedicated to getting you out of the car and into the money, with your host, lifelong entrepreneur and multimillionaire, Tom Antion.

[00:00:24] Hey everybody, it's Tom here with episode four hundred and Ninety five of Screw the Commute podcast. We're here, part of Vetrepreneur Month every September. We really highlight our wonderful veterans and thank them for their service and help out all the great things they're doing entrepreneurially and so today we have James Felts here. James was a company commander in Iraq and he was awarded the Bronze Star for his outstanding contributions and sacrifices. And boy, we really can't imagine the kind of things that the folks that keep us safe have to go through, and we're going to see today how he's helping veterans market themselves and their businesses. Yeah, and combat operations. Jeez. Yes, I've had my share, but they were domestic not, you know, in a foreign country. All right. So we'll bring him on in a minute. So how'd you like to make big commissions for referring my stuff? And we hardly ever get refunds because I really take care of my customers. So if you're interested in and getting me to send you money, well, just check it out by emailing me at Tom@Screwthecommute.com And I'll give you all the details. And some of the commissions can be as much as five thousand dollars for one referral, so you can make some good money by kicking my name around. All right. Pick up a copy of our automation book. It's a book that we sell for twenty seven bucks, but it's yours.

[00:01:51] Free for listening to the show, and I got to tell you it's saved me literally. We actually estimated at seven and a half million keystrokes, just from one twenty dollar piece of software tip that's in the book. That's just one of the tips saved me carpal tunnel and all those millions of keystrokes. And it also allows me to handle customers and prospects way faster so that I can ethically steal customers from people too slow to get back to prospects. So grab a copy of that book at screwthecommute.com/automatefree. And all this stuff will be in the show notes, along with James's great stuff that he'll tell you about later. Now, pick up a copy of our podcast app. It's screwthecommute.com/app, where you can put us on your cell phone and tablet and take us with you on the road. Now, my school is in the middle of a pilot project to help persons with disabilities get trained in a highly in-demand skill, which is internet and digital marketing so that they don't have to leave their home to get high quality education and they can legitimately be hired from home. I mean, I've been preaching that for 23 years, but now everybody says, Oh, I guess you can work from home. I didn't know that. So, yeah, you can. And so we're going to either help them get good paying jobs or we're going to help them start their own business or both. And we have a go fund me account to help out with this.

[00:03:21] And we're going to use some of the money to hire persons with disabilities to help run the program. So check it out at my school site, IMTCVA.org/disabilities and hey, while you're at it, you can also check out the military page to see all the military folks we've helped over the years. But anyway, on the disability page, click on the Go Fund Me link and you'll see some of the people in the program and they're very inspiring. Two of the people are blind and they're going through an internet marketing course. Can you believe it? I can't believe it. So, so check it out. Any a little bit you can throw in is really appreciate it.

[00:03:59] Well, let's get to the main event. James Felts is here. He's a devoted father and husband to three beautiful girls, and his wife is. I don't know if he counts her in the numbers. They're yeah, so. So I'm sure she's beautiful, too. She's an attorney and a Smithfeld, and he prides himself on the three P's professionalism, personality and perseverance. And he co-founded with Marty Martinez. I think we're going to have him on a future episode, a thing. I think it's called Joint Task Force two something. And so he'll tell you what that is. And then also, James and Marty started the Lounge with Legends Show, which is dedicated to celebrating veterans success and countering the narrative that veterans are all broken misfit toys. So. James, are you ready to screw? The commute?

[00:04:52] Absolutely. I'm here and I'm ready.

[00:04:54] All right, good man. Well, again, thank you. On behalf of myself and all the listeners for your wonderful service that Bronze Star can't imagine the things that that you did and sacrifice. Nice with you and your family to help us so we can do the things that we're doing, so thank you very much for that. So tell everybody what you're doing with them and what what's the two one task force to one something? What is that?

[00:05:18] A short Tom. So first off, let me get well, first off, thanks for. I'm humbled and honored just to be here, and I really appreciate you having me on your show. And you know, and then before we get any further, of course, my wife is beautiful and going to make sure I get that out there, too. If I don't do that, I will get in trouble.

[00:05:36] That's right. Somebody will take your Bronze Star away from you.

[00:05:39] Oh, absolutely. You know how that is. But you know, you know, the Joint Task Force 214, we came up with that name because when you leave military service and when you depart and it eats and get out, either retire, you're provided with a deed to 14. So that's the Oh, OK, got it. We named it Joint Task Force 214.

[00:06:01] What's ETS?

[00:06:03] Early transition. So basically when you get out end of tour service into service.

[00:06:08] Okay. End of tour service. Yeah. I didn't like to hear the word terminal in there like you're you're you were terminated or so.

[00:06:16] Well, no, it depends on who you ask, but I'm sure some people would say that there's other there's probably another analogies or other they would probably say to,

[00:06:25] Ok, so yeah, DD214 is when you get out. So yes. So what do you do with that?

[00:06:31] So what we do is we help veterans market themselves and their small businesses through the power of story so that people listen. And you know, we we, Marty and myself have transitioned from the military. We're both retired. I actually left active duty many more many years ago. Marty actually just retired last year. And so what happened was during our transition, we basically became lost and we just said, You know what? We came back together and said,

[00:07:01] You are your buddies in the service you knew each other

[00:07:03] From. Absolutely. Well, the fun fact is, and I can't wait till you have Marty on the show, but make sure you mention the fact that I was his boss. Okay. Both for lieutenants together in 80 seconds.

[00:07:15] Yeah. But do you know what boss spelled backwards? Don't you know? What is it? Double S.O.B.?

[00:07:22] That's probably what he'll say next week. Yeah, but yeah, we we met initially. We were both lieutenants together in 80 second and second, three to five and Bravo Company. And when we first met, I knew I was going to like Marty because when we met, I was a lieutenant. I was the first lieutenant. He was a second lieutenant. He was a platoon leader and I was an executive officer. So I was the second in charge of the company. And when he came in, I told him he was going to salute and call me sir and all that stuff. If you were actually been in the military, you know, lieutenants don't call each other, sir, ma'am, or salute each other because at the same rank. But anyway, he told me what? I'm going to do that, and then that's where it started.

[00:08:01] So I mean, were you messing with them at the time?

[00:08:04] Well, no. To be honest, when I was younger back then, I was a little bit more arrogant. Oh, OK. I was actually being serious and he pushed back, and he's the only one that ever did that. So, so I mean, you know, so really the Joint Task Force two, 14, we didn't come up with the concept, but we actually came up with the idea on a drop zone over on Sicily drop zone. You know, we dropped jumped into Sicily drop zone. Those are familiar. Fort Bragg, you know, you do a lot of jump operations or airborne operations there. And we were just kind of laying around one day and looking up at the stars after we had jumped and said, What are we going to do when we grow up? And then, you know, we fast forward to twenty some plus years. I don't want to give you the exact date, but 20 plus years. And here we are. We've found ourself again, and now we're trying to help future veterans that are transitioning from the army. So how does it work?

[00:08:56] I mean, does this as a website? Do they go to for online training or you help them personally? How does it work?

[00:09:04] So, you know, there's a couple of different things that we do. Obviously, we have a website, joint task force two to 14 and but really, it's going to be, you know, we're actually just launching this. So we're going to be a lot of one on one coaching. There's going to be a lot of free PDFs involved. There's going to be a lot of, you know, hopefully working on and I hope I'm not giving up too much intel, but we're working on some, you know, DOD contracts, hopefully, so we can present our courses and teach because, you know, my background in Marty's background, of course, is with leadership. But not only did we do that in the military, but we were OCS instructors. So officer candidate school instructors we taught I was the AP at, you know, Campbell University and University of North Carolina at Pembroke. So I taught I was a professor of military science there and then using the credentials of small and large US army facilitators and coaches. And you know, that's what we're going to try to do. So that's what we are going to do. I should say, because words that deceive, I deceived myself in bad word.

[00:10:08] No, you're doing anything with military spouses.

[00:10:12] We will absolutely. And you know, we're just focusing in right now, initially on veterans and spouses. And the reason why is, you know, I feel like we both feel like we know that markets, right? Because we we lived it. You know, we know who you are because for you.

[00:10:28] Exactly. Yeah. I just mentioned it because my school has got to deal with the DOD to give its called to my CAA program for military spouses. It provides, I think, $4000 for their training. That's portable, you know, because they're always taking crappy jobs. I'm up here in Norfolk, which, you know, all the bases are up here and and the military spouses have to take a crappy job because everybody knows they're going to move in two years and then they go somewhere else and take a crappy job. So this training is portable, so wherever they are, they don't have to go backwards every time. So that's that's what we're doing.

[00:11:07] But that's something that's big. I mean, because, you know, like you said, there's such a there's a transition usually two to three years, depending on, you know, the amount of moves that some day. And that's one thing about Joint Task Force 214. What we do is help your business and most of the businesses that we are helping right now have a very strong brand or an online presence. So if you build a business. That has, you know, that's online, then basically that's my advice to recommendation of those spouses or even the military veteran themselves. You know, build a online platform or online brand and it can travel with you.

[00:11:45] Yeah, and the risk is much lower. So that's why I mean, I've been teaching this for 23 years and been selling on the internet since it started in nineteen ninety four. And the risk is much lower. You know, if you learn what you're doing, as long as you don't get ripped off and, you know, go spend enormous amounts of money on stuff because people see you coming. But the digital world is ninety seven percent profit, so no other business, you're going to get that kind of profit margins with the low risk to get into it, you know, with a website and a digital products and things like that. So. So, yeah, so we're all in favor of that. So is you talked about stories and I saw in your bio something called story brand. What what do you mean by that?

[00:12:31] Um, so I don't know if your listeners are you familiar with Donald Miller story brand?

[00:12:37] No, I have not heard of him. Is he a professional speaker or something?

[00:12:42] Absolutely. And the author really, I think he labels himself more as an author. Ok? Written several books. Story brand is one of the books that he's written. He's also written business, made simple. He's made. He's written. Yeah, I mean, so numerous books and basically what he what happens is you just utilize utilizes movie and the power of story creates to create your brand in your business and basically so create a powerful story to where they're listening because every situation in business and we're in a movie can be described by a framework and can't go into the detail of the framework. But you know, everything follows a script and so does our brand, and so does your brand, and so does your business.

[00:13:31] So, yeah, I know I've been hired, you know, to speak where the people couldn't remember my name, but they remembered a story I told. They said, Hey, get that guy that told that story about so-and-so and they really stick in your mind.

[00:13:45] Well, that's the reason why I joined the army, right? So I could tell a good story.

[00:13:50] I joined. If you can get out without a sucking chest wound, yeah, you can tell.

[00:13:55] Well, you know, you know, I was different. I'm an older fella, I guess, but I went in prior to pre-9 11. You were not in war at the time of my entry into the service when I got commissioned. So, you know, we and I always try to put myself in a, you know, a place where, hey, look, I get to remember most folks that well, I just recently, you know, retire retired from the reserves. But you know, most folks that came in after me, they post eleven. So they knew when they signed up what they were getting themselves into. Right? When I came in, it was, Hey, OK, I want to go to college. I need help paying for my college and I want to do a life of service. I'm going to do, you know, four years and then pay back my college degree and get out. And so it was a different motivation for me when I went in.

[00:14:44] Yeah, and boy, I got a surprise for sure. So what's the star technique?

[00:14:54] So that's a part of the military when you eats out. They actually give you that formula when you go in through cell tabs, when you're you know that the program itself is called taps. You know, the only time you hear taps is when someone is passed away. Exactly. Yeah, but that's the name of the program. When you're getting out of the military and your transition transitioning out, you go through cell taps and it's like, OK, really? Yes, I'll tap. Really? You want this to me? But you know, looking at that, you know, speaking to the transition, that's where we try to focus in on the transformation. And I know it's a play on words, but you know, the army does a great job. And when I say army, it's because that's what I know. But the military is pretty much similar. You know, my father was in the Air Force, but and you know, so I know that, you know, there's a lot of similarities when you leave the military. They do a great job of transitioning you. You know, here's you're going to go through, you're going to ETS, you're going to get out of the military, you're going to turn in all your gear. They're going to say, here's how you write a resumé. Here's how you do this, and you're just going to check the block and get a signature and then you're going to out process and leave. And if you really don't have a plan, if you don't, you know, develop an agenda, then you're going to find yourself like, I was out here aimlessly wandering, lost, not knowing what I'm going to do when I grow up. And that's really what we're trying to prevent. We're trying to use my experiences over the years of being out of the military and going, you know, my my resume looks like a rap sheet. I've worked at everything you possibly worked at. I worked at pizza for one day, you know, Oh, I was terrible. Have you ever been to a pizza?

[00:16:31] I have, but I couldn't work there because I got fired for eating all the profits.

[00:16:36] Well, luckily I didn't stay long. I was there seriously six hours. And what happened was I was I came in and I was going to be hired as the manager. So I was going to be an area manager for one of the stores and it was going to be in Lumberton, North Carolina. And I went in and I knew I was in trouble because the first thing that happened I walk in is, you know, they open the door and they go, Hey, walk on to keys. I'm like, Oh my God, I'm going to shoot myself if I do this every day. Well, what happened was I thought maybe that was a one time thing. Well, it wasn't. Every single time somebody comes in to CC's pizza, it's Hey, welcome to East. And then when they leave, what are you going to say? Have a great day. Yeah, come again. I'm like, Oh my God, I cannot do this for 20 some odd years. So anyway, like I said, I digress. I apologize. But you know, my my experience is with civilian jobs, it's not always been the best.

[00:17:34] Now, see, I would have been opposite. I would have had, you know, see, I had an appointment to the Naval Academy and I went up there and visited and I saw these people jogging to class. And yes, sir, no, sir. And I'm know I'll get I'll get court-martialed the first five minutes.

[00:17:51] So well, at least you figured it out early. I think it was too late. I was already, you know, in and haircut.

[00:17:59] Oh yeah, I did hear another one of the vets say that, Hey, I got a free haircut, you know, because he had a really troubled past. He says all these to get a haircut and something to eat. So, so how did you come up with these ideas for these shows with Marty?

[00:18:15] So what happened was we just once again, we, you know, we joined the military so we can have stories to tell, and we were sitting around and it was like, OK. And we're not knocking any other, you know, folks that are doing what they're doing out here, but we just get tired of seeing the same old things, you know, we get tired of seeing, you know, the the actual, you know, depressing stories. So what we wanted to do was, hey, look, the best years of our lives is not behind us. We would like to think the best years of our lives are still now and going forward. So what we wanted to do was, Hey, let's create a platform where we can bring legends onto a show and celebrate their success outside the military post-military. And that's really where it came about. It was like, Hey, look, let's bring the folks on. We're not the legends. You know, Marty and I are not legends, although Marty, I've given him a title. He's starting to own it really well. He's the Mohawk master of all knowledge. But, you know, he we just wanted to be able to bring a platform that celebrates veterans success through the power story. And then not only that, but make a difference in a veteran's life, you know, because we all and once again, I'm not throwing any shade. But, you know, twenty two push ups is great and all but no offense. I've got two ruptured bicep tendons. I don't do twenty two push ups anymore. I can't do twenty two projects, but what I can do is create a platform of voice for other veterans to share their story with others. So therefore someone else could hear their story, relate to them and then, you know, make a difference. And that's really what it's about. Our mission is just to if we can affect in a positive way, one veteran a day, then we were doing what we need to be doing.

[00:20:02] And that's give us an example of some, some a story that you've highlighted on your show.

[00:20:08] So one of our episodes, actually, I'm trying to think of the actual number of the show, but it was actually Lamont Christian, Sergeant Major, retired Lamont Christian came on our show and he runs an organization down in South Carolina called the Big Red Barn. And what they do down there is they bring veterans, first responders that are suffering from PTSD. Now they don't call it PTSD. They drop the D, the disorder part and just call it post-traumatic, because with that D, there's a label. And the only thing that makes a veteran different with that label than a school teacher is the fact that we label us ourselves, you know, so we just want to put down, you know, their PTS. But what he's done down there with help of others, he's created a warrior non with yoga, non medicated ways to cope with your PTSD. Mm hmm. And that's really what he did. But his name's Lamont Christians, and his organization is called the Big Red Barn, and they are doing some amazing things down there. I was actually trying to figure out what episode it was. It was so long ago, but we've only, you know, we've had twenty fourth episode now.

[00:21:19] Yeah, we'll put it in the show notes, even if you don't, if we don't get it

[00:21:23] On the record, absolutely. Because anything that we can do to promote veterans and their success is key. And the reason why I bring up that story is last week I had a my wife's friend, Casey. She actually reached out to me and said, Hey, I was watching one of your shows the other day, and I remember you mentioning a place, a facility outside of the VA that would be able to assist someone that is suffering from PTSD. And I said, Sure, absolutely. And she just happened to catch. So our major retired Lamont Christian's episode and that memory of her just glimpse a glimpse view of it. I don't know how long she watch. Hopefully she watched the entire thing. But but you know, it's an it's an hour long. So I'm sure that she just tuned in for a short amount of time. But if she but that little bit of difference is going to make an impact on someone else's life. So we were able to see I was able to link her to them. And basically she has a family member that our family friend that is going to be able to get help. And it was just from watching that episode. And that's what it's about is helping others, you know, paying it forward.

[00:22:33] Hey, boy, you should be really, really, really proud of that. That's for sure, especially with such a young show. Yeah. See big things coming for you. So can you explain to us idiot civilians? The the family dynamics, the what's your you know, you've got four beautiful women to contend with in your house. My mother had six boys, so it's a little bit opposite. But but the kinds of things that issues that come up in the sacrifices that are made by military families.

[00:23:05] Well, I could tell you, you know, it's first off, I'm loving being a girl, dad, it's amazing. You know, I never thought in a million years that that would happen to myself, but you know, I guess it's my my, my friends and my, my father would say, it's probably payback. How old are they? I have my oldest sister. She's 16. Taylor, she's 12. And my youngest. She's five. And guess which one's the one in charge?

[00:23:31] Yeah. Well, have you ever come to the front door when a boy was there holding any type of firearm?

[00:23:38] I tell you what I'll pass on. I won't admit that because I might have one of my VA representatives in on the conversation, but I will tell you, my oldest daughter, she just started dating. Oh my God. In the last six months and I got to meet her boyfriend, Connor. I know where you live. I know who you are. He came over to the house and I tell you what it was. Very it was. It was a humbling experience. And to be honest, I just looked at it like this as another opportunity for me to be mature. I kept one eye open and in one eye kind of on the television at the same time. So everything seemed legit. But you know, I remember when I was 16, so I'm sure that I probably didn't catch everything. It's weird that. Well, it's not weird, it's I'm glad that you mention the dynamics of actually military family and and I'll tell you my that's been my biggest struggle and one of my biggest guilt for myself. My two oldest daughters were actually from my previous marriage, so my youngest daughter is with my wife now, Anna. And so with my first two born, my first two daughters. I had them right when I was going to Iraq as a company commander. Yeah. And what happened was at that time, I thought I had joined the National Guard, thinking that I was going to get deployed. Well, you know what that was? That was that idea. So anyway, I ended up being in the 30th Brigade in North Carolina National Guard, and I ended up.

[00:25:22] I don't know how this happened, but I ended up on an 18 month deployment. When you add it in the train of because, you know, when the National Guard, you get to train up before you get ready to actually go into theater. So I was gone for 18 months. Oh my God. And of that 18 months, my youngest or my middle daughter, Taylor, she was born. Five days before I left for Iraq. And I can remember, you know, coming back. Well, I can remember when we were deployed, you know, you could do Skype. At the time, they didn't have face time, so we would Skype and I can remember. You know, she was a baby. And when I get back, she's two years old. You know, basically, she's about two years old when I get back, and she didn't have anything to do with me. Oh boy. And that's the part that was painful. And to this day, you know, and then we, you know, my ex-wife and I, we were divorced. But to this day, the guilt being away from my oldest daughter and my middle daughter haunt me every day. That's my biggest regret in life. I feel like I, you know, because that's the number one thing you can't get back is time. And for those 18 months, I'm away from them. And to this day, I feel like I'm still trying to play catch up to make up for those 18 months gone.

[00:26:42] Yeah. I can't imagine. So the only advice I have for you is like, have eight or 10 more kids and then don't do it.

[00:26:50] So I hope my wife's not listening right now.

[00:26:56] So go ahead. No, I was going to say, you know, you know, even with my oldest, our youngest daughter, Alana, she was born. She's five years old now. Even with that, you would think that that would be the remedy. It hasn't filled that void. You know, I've I've came back from that deployment two thousand nine twenty ten. And I mean, it's already two thousand twenty one, and that guilt has not left. Wow. My biggest struggle. You know, I feel like I feel guilty that I had to go away for 18 months to be away from my daughters and to me that, you know, looking back on it, was it worth it? Not personally, selfishly, I say no. I knew what I was doing, you know, I needed to do that and serve my country, but at the end of the day, self-centered James because I never tried to be self-centered. But when I sit there and look myself in the mirror and I blame myself for and still hold the guilt of being gone for those 18 months.

[00:27:56] What does she say about it?

[00:27:58] They they say. They say it's fine, you know, I've I've had that discussion, you know, I kind of I still it's weird. I'll still every once in a while, I'll throw in, Hey, you know, I'm really sorry that I wasn't there for you. And I was gone. But the reason why I did it and I tried to explain to the reasons why I was gone. But there again, like I said, when I came back, my the youngest or my middle daughter, it just took so long to transition back to where she would actually even want to be in my presence. So at that time, I was actually going through my divorce, so I was getting them every other weekend and I could remember just, you know, picking them both up. Driving because I pick them up from Hope Mills area, and then I would drive back to Sanford because that's where I was living at the time. And by the time I got to Sanford Taylor, my my middle daughter would be bawling and crying, asking for her mother and begging me to take her home. And I was like, You know, I would try to keep her and then ultimately for about. I'll be the first six or seven months I was just turning back around and taking her back to her mother. And that was painful, you know, talk about, you know, here I am an airborne Ranger 11 alpha infantry officer thinking, I'm a door kicker and then I'm find myself in the, you know, doing the crying man in the shower. You know, sitting here because my, my middle daughter doesn't want to have anything to do with me. So anyway,

[00:29:31] Well, I'll tell you what. Multiply that story by probably millions of people that have done sacrifices and and it just infuriates me when people don't give you all the respect that you deserve for doing what you've done for us. Just so I am doing this and you know, I'm not in the service or not a veteran, but boy, I just want you to know there's loads of us out here that appreciate you for doing that.

[00:30:00] And I appreciate that. I mean, it means a lot that you're doing this, and that's why I really appreciate you because you know, you bring it on so many veterans right now. And, you know, just. And letting them be heard, you know, and actually, I shouldn't say her, letting people actually listen to their story is where the power is, and I appreciate you letting them come on and share the stage with you because I mean, that's that's huge. To me, that's giving back. So I really do appreciate it.

[00:30:30] Yeah, it's much it's more than my pleasure. So tell everybody how they get a hold of you and how they check all this stuff out. And if they know somebody that probably should should meet you, how how they get a hold of you.

[00:30:43] Well, there's a couple of different ways you can go on LinkedIn, obviously. My name is James A. Phelps on LinkedIn. You can find me on Facebook. James, I felt as well. You can find Marty and myself on Facebook Joint Task Force 214. You can find us on Facebook with Lounge with legends. You can find us on YouTube with lounge with legends. And you can find this on E! 360 TV because Lounge of Legends streams every Wednesday at 12 O'Clock Eastern on E! 360 TV channel and we stream there and our shows there to celebrate veterans and their success and how their legends.

[00:31:30] That's a beautiful thing you're doing, man. Like I said, you should be proud of yourself and hang in there, those. I think the when those girls get older, they'll they'll be more mature enough to see the kind of things that their dad did for them. So, good man. Thanks for coming on.

[00:31:48] I appreciate Tom. Thank you so much. And like I said, I'm honored and humbled to be here.

[00:31:52] Well, thank you. And the thing is, now I don't have to bother with Marty since I've had you because, you know, obviously he's he's substandard.

[00:31:59] So Marty's demo Ach, I don't know the reason why I went first. He's the cleanup hitter, so I definitely enjoy him for sure.

[00:32:07] Yeah, but you were his boss. I'll make sure to make sure to make that clear to airborne, right? All right. Thanks so much, man. Hey, everybody. We're in Vetrepreneur Month all September, so make sure you check back to hear the stories of all these wonderful people and what they've been doing for us. All right, we'll catch you on the next episode. See you later.

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