253 – Personal Development is Always Great: Tom talks Personality Power

Episode 253 – Personality Power
[00:00:09] Welcome to Screw the Commute. The entrepreneurial podcast dedicated to getting you out of the car and into the money, with your host, lifelong entrepreneur and multimillionaire, Tom Antion.

[00:00:24] Hey, everybody, it's Tom here with episode two hundred fifty three of Screw the Commute podcast. This is about personality power, which is perfect for this week, which on screw the commute is called the Humble Alpha Week. And that's a book that's coming up by two veteran friends of mine. And you'll hear from them on Wednesday and Friday this week. Your personality contributes enormously to your success and it can also contribute to your failures. So give yourself an objective evaluation and and always work on yourself. That's what this episode's all about. And I hope you didn't miss episode 252. Oh, we had a blast with Lia Bozonelis. She's a Hollywood based writer and producer and she was introduced to me by my good friend Patricia Kara, who is the fine number nine on deal or no deal on TV. And we had we just had a blast. And she told all about you being a writer in Hollywood, and she's been all over the world writing and advice for young writers coming up. And so for a lot of fun. All right. Grab a copy of our automation e-book. It's at screwthecommute.com/automatefree. And of course, if you've been on this podcast, you know, I really want you to get it because it can save you millions of keystrokes and let you take care of your customers faster with less hassle without pulling your hair out. So grab it at screwthecommute.com/automatefree and then grab a copy of our podcast app that will do all kinds of cool stuff and we have training for you on how to use it and that's at screwthecommute.com/app. Our sponsor is the Internet Marketing Training Center of Virginia. It's a distance learning school and it's soon to be opening up for in-house classes because we're applying to to get covered by the G.I. Bill. And we do need some help here, folks. We need veteran friendly accountant that's qualified to do audits that's either willing to donate their services or do it at a big discount, because I'm just doing this to help veterans. So. So if you know somebody, please and get in touch with me. But anyway, our school is IMTCVA.org. And it's just such a powerful skill to have. It's an in-demand skill where you can have an actual in-demand career in six months or less. And I've started saying six months or less because we recently put an elective in on how to get business fast because we've had a student after one month started making eleven hundred bucks a month. She's up to six thousand dollars a month, quit her crap job that she had and now she's taken off on her own business. So it's very possible to do that. And every business on earth needs these skills. And a lot of like Google, Apple, IBM, Bank of America and hundreds of other places are kicking out the requirement for college degrees because all they're getting is a bunch of people that know how to protest. And you know, what can basket weave or whatever stupid courses they're able to pass. These companies want people with actual skills, and that's what we teach in this school. So it's IMTCVA.org and of course we'll have that in the show notes.

[00:04:05] All right. Let's get to the main event. The first thing I want to mention is that I'm not on here trying to spout out that I'm Mr. Perfect and that I have everyone's dream personality. I think you could find quite a few people would dispute that. I'm just saying that there's ways that I have acted and treated people over many years that have opened many doors for me. And I know that they could for you, too.

[00:04:33] I'm not going to get all technical about this. I just want you to know how valuable it can be to you personally and professionally, to be self-aware and to work on yourself. Now, one of the first traits that's super powerful is an appropriate sense of humor. And I emphasize appropriate because trying to be funny when it's not the right time or in the wrong way can make you look like a doofus. All right. Or or it actually can hurt people. So you do have to be careful. Let me tell you about an informal study I did years ago, and then I'll update it for you for current standards. See, when I lived in Washington, D.C. from 1988 to about 2001, before I moved here, I collected every copy of the Washingtonian magazine every month. And in those days, they had a classified personal ads in the section in the back of each issue. I mean, it had hundreds of personal ads. And at the time I was running my entertainment company and I originally broke into the speaking business talking about humor in the workplace. So I had a high interest in the benefits of humor. So I counted all the ads in the back of each magazine and I looked for any ads that mention humor or something related. Like the perfect person for me is someone that can make me laugh. That kind of stuff. 70 percent of the ads had some reference to a sense of humor. Now, fast forward today with online dating apps like Tinder and plenty of Fish and Bumble and there's other ones, I guess. I haven't counted up the ads on these services, but I do look at them because they're additional places where my students can place ads and tons of personal ads say they want someone that can make them laugh or they want someone with a good sense of humor. And by the way, guys, tons of the female ads say you must like dogs. I'm just saying. So now the unfortunate part about this is that many of us that have a natural and highly developed sense of humor kind of came from pain in their childhood. Even though I had, by most accounts, a great childhood, all was not perfect inside of me. I was the baby of the family, way overweight, teased by the older kids. I had a really derogatory nickname, heap, because they they said, I look like a heap of well, I won't say S-H something when I was running to first base. I remember it vividly the day I was named that. And that kind of sticks with you. I mean, I didn't have other outlets to play with because we lived in the sticks. So I had to make up my own creative games and make jokes to try to be accepted. When I was in school, I was shunned by the girls when other kids in school were already dating. And I mean, it sounds like the making of a good country song. What do you think? And I'm not complaining. Things worked out.

[00:07:38] I got a real sense of drive out of it. I've made a fortune on my sense of humor. I excelled in sports. I hit colleges, a major college football player. And the kind of a problem with girls or maybe I should say groupies went away. But anyway, many professional comedians had way more painful experiences than I did. So I'm not wishing that on you. I'm just saying that a sense of humor may not come naturally to you, but you can improve it. You just have to work at it. And at least as I've shown in my career, it can do wonders for you and your personal life. So put a high emphasis on sense of humor. Now, the rest of the things that I'm going to talk about are in no particular order. And maybe you want to go to the show notes and list them out and prioritize them for yourself. Maybe you're great in one area and you need some work in another area.

[00:08:35] Having them listed out as written goals gives you a greater chance of success improving any of these traits. And this is going to take work. And don't expect too much help from those around you. In fact, you may alienate some people around you as you evolve and reach higher levels of personal development. It's the old saying about getting a better set of friends. Now, here's some of the traits I feel have helped me. And I really think will help you both personally and professionally. All right. First one project honesty and Integrity. Think about it. Do you like to do business with companies you can't trust? All right. Sometimes you don't have a choice. Like the cable company or the phone company. But when you have a choice, I doubt that you say to yourself, I think I'll buy that microwave from X, Y, Z appliance company that's got all these bad Yelp reviews. You ain't gonna do it right. Even if it's cheaper. You don't want to do business with a company that's shown evidence of cheating people. The thing about projecting honesty and integrity is that you can't just talk about it. If you talk about it and don't live it, well, you're basically a liar and a scammer. And that reputation will spread if you talk about it and live it. That reputation will spread, too. And if you don't believe me, check out the Google reviews for my school. The people leaving the reviews know that I'm behind it and you can see what they say about me. And many have known me for a lot of years, even more than 20 years. And they say that I've lived honesty and integrity all those years. So project and live honesty and integrity.

[00:10:23] Now, the opposite of that is bashing dishonesty. I'm the first one to expose rip offs. I mean, not only does this enhance my reputation as the good guy. It educates people of things that could hurt them. An example of this is the article I wrote years ago, which has been seen I think a couple hundred thousand times at Antion.com/top20seminarscams.htm. We'll have that in the show notes.

[00:10:53] Think about this. I've made millions selling at the back of the room and seminars, yet I'm telling people it's a scam. No, that's not what I'm doing. I'm not telling people that the fact that they bought something at a seminar makes it a scam. I'm telling people there are unscrupulous, sociopathic speakers who will rob them. These are professional level con people. They can read you, poke your emotional buttons and get your money, and then they laugh all the way the bank. And then you have to sue him or, you know, go to your credit card company or you chase them around. I mean, and then they bash you and threaten to sue you. I mean, there's all kinds of rotten things they do. So I show them how they could get robbed all the ways they could get robbed at a seminar. And I'm certain I've cost scammers many millions of dollars. And I'm thrilled about that. And I've saved unsuspecting seminar attendees from losing those million. So, again, this raises my value in the marketplace because people know I'm against scams and that I'm not going to do to them what those scam speakers would have, in fact. I've got a TV show in Hollywood. You can see the well it's in development in Hollywood they told me don't quit my day job, but it's called scambrigade.com. You can see the trailer there.

[00:12:16] Ok. Next personality trait is give before you get. I mean, this is a highly valuable personality trait when when you're willing to give before you get some massive doors can open for you. I'm not saying give stupidly. For instance, a distant relative of mine just wants to hobnob with rich people. So she volunteers all the time to be around people that are way ahead of her on the social and financial scale. Now, I'm not saying that's a bad idea in itself. I'm saying she's doing it to the detriment of her family and her own income. And in other words, she's just doing it for the ego trip. If you're doing it to prove and improve your skills and willing and show your willingness to help others, that's another story. I mean, that's why internships and apprenticeships are so valuable. So people don't like others who are always taking for themselves. If you're like that, quit it. Again, I'm not telling you to get walked all over and let others take from you. I'm telling you that you make a decision when it's appropriate to give. And people will have a greater respect for you. And let me tell you how this worked out for me. When I was in college, I was renting from this guy named Frank before, I think. And I hope he's still alive down in Florida. He would come over to work on our house, wasn't in the dorm at this time, is living in a house. And every time he'd come over, I'd say, hey, Frank, I'll help you put us those gutters or fix a door or whatever, but you teach me what you're doing, OK?

[00:13:52] So I help them, help them, help them. At the end of the semester, he came to me and he said, Tom come here I want to talk to you. I thought, oh, what do we do now? He said, I've been renting houses and apartments in this town. This college town for 25 years. He said not once ever did a kid offer to help me with the repairs, let alone ask to learn something. He said I own a hotel about 20 miles from here and I want to retire and go to Florida. I want you to have it. If you can come up with the first mortgage. I will take back the second mortgage. You'll have no down payment and you can take over this hotel. I'm like, I don't know. I almost passed out. So now this is another personality trait of persistence. It took me 50 different lending institutions to go to to get that first mortgage. But I did. He took back the second mortgage. Those of you in real estate know what I'm talking about. No down payment. I ran it for five or six years. I made about sixty five thousand dollars a year cash flow. And the city ended up buying the things for a couple hundred thousand at the end of the year. Something happened to the building. We had a fire and only a little tiny fire. But the fire department damaged the whole building with water damage. So the city offered to buy it and demolish it. And I made a couple hundred grand. So this is this is just I bought it before I graduated college and had it after I graduate college. So but anyway, the point is. That simple to me, it was simple, no brainer to learn from this guy who was doing stuff, and that was so far ahead of anybody else in my age range. The guy was super impressed enough to take this chance on me. So so that's give before you get.

[00:15:53] All right. Be fair and talk about fairness. This is the next one. It's just like honesty and integrity. You still got to actually be fair in your dealings. That doesn't mean you have to be a doormat. I mean, you're also fair to yourself and I mentioned this quite a bit in my life and in also in my sales process. If you've ever watched any of my free webinars, you would see that pretty much right up front. I make a deal with the audience. I tell them I'm going to kill myself. Given you great stuff that will help you. But if I do, you agree to listen to my offer at the end and I say, that's fair, right? And they say, Yeah, Tom, that's a fair deal. And almost everyone responds, that's fair. And those that know me say things like, you're always fair, Tom, and I've never seen you be anything but fair. So people like dealing with people that consider the other person's point of view and position. And even if they don't get everything they want, let's say in a negotiation, they do appreciate and respect you for being fair. I've had people where we have a dispute, let's say, on something, and they left a little miffed, but they come back later and say things like, well, I was upset the last time we talked, but you treated me fairly. And that's why I'm coming back to buy from you now. So be fair and talk about fairness.

[00:17:18] Next thing is take a stand on things, but up to a point, okay. People don't like wishy washy people who will say or do anything depending on which way the wind is blowing. You can see this in politics all the time on TV. They'll show clips of a politician. Absolutely say in one thing and screaming. All right. Then they show a clip of the same politician saying the exact opposite and screaming it. That's why I hate politics. So right here, I'm taking a stand against politics. But I did it in a way that didn't alienate one party or the other. Those TV clips are for both sides of the aisle. OK. And probably a bunch of independents too. There's no reason for me to alienate one side or the other in my business. I mean, that's what I mean by taking a stand up to a point. My type of business doesn't center around politics. I mean, if it did, I would take a stand on one side or the other, which would make sense. But it doesn't make sense to inject politics, religion and other controversial topics in your business where they don't belong. You're just alienating people for no reason. And that's just stupid from a business standpoint. Bottom line here is that you'll get more respect in business when you take a stand on things maybe like demanding high quality materials in your products, maybe like demanding extreme customer service from your employees. But talking about controversial topics that don't apply to your business, just stupid. Don't do it.

[00:18:59] All right. Next is do what you say you're going to do. I have a motto. If I tell you something that I'm gonna do. The only way I'm not going to do it is if there's a nuclear attack. Okay. And even if there is, I'm gonna call you to cancel. All right. You wouldn't want to deal with people or companies where you couldn't depend on what they say. Right. I mean, a good example is the cable company. I heard a comedian say the cable company told him, yeah, we'll be there between 10:00 a.m. Monday and Thursday. Will you be there? I mean, really? Would you do more business with a company if they told you? Let's say it's a printing job and it would be done on Tuesday and you come to pick up the job on Tuesday and it's not ready. And they say, oh, sorry, we couldn't get it done. Come on back Friday. Well, what if you were depending on that job? What if the job not being done cost you a lot of money? See you will get way more business and way more respect in the world if you do what you say you're going to do. And from the business standpoint, you'll be that your competitors in the long run, even if they're cheaper because you are dependable. Even on smaller scales, I mean, I can't stand that when someone says I'll call you Wednesday, then it's Wednesday and they don't freaking call. That person moves way down the list of people I'll do business with. So do what you say you're going to do.

[00:20:31] All right. Next thing is go the extra mile. And this is a personality trait people just love. Stop and think about this. Let's say you have a business and you have two employees sitting in your home office and each day at 4:45. The one person starts getting their stuff together, closing down their computer, making personal calls, to people meeting them after work. All right. And the moment the clocks strikes five, you hear the door slamming shut. Now, the other person is still there at 5:00, engrossed in finishing up the project they were working on, and almost every day it's 10 after 5:00 and sometimes 5:30 before they leave. And on some occasions you got to kick them out so you can go pick the kids up from soccer. Seriously, with all else being equal. Who do you have the greater respect for? Of course, the person who cares about the quality of their work so much they don't even notice the time. And if you had to keep one of the people, who would it be? Now, let's say the person had to leave. Let's say they were a military spouse and had to move to a different city or even country. How inclined would you be to give them a rave review when they tried to get another job? I'm talking about the person that was always there finishing their work and cared about what they did see you'd go overboard to help them. All right. So go the extra mile. People will respect you.

[00:22:04] Listen more than you talk. It's a personality trait this is tough if you're generally a talkative person. And that can be a good personality trait, no doubt. But what you talk about is important too. If you just drone on about things only you are interested in. People will start to avoid you. Make it a point to listen. And when you talk, make sure it's relevant to the conversation you're having. Try to force yourself to listen more than you talk. And that's going to be tough if you're talking to a person that's not very talkative, but your skill that you want to develop here is to get better at bringing the other person along and out of their shell in the conversation and showing a lot of interest. When they do say something, they will love you for it and be more attracted to you rather than the scenario above where you're just running your mouth to hear yourself talk. This doesn't mean you have to agree with everything the person is saying. You can nicely say something like, I understand your position. Let me give you another perspective and then you tell your side story. Anyway, listing more and blending your conversation with theirs can make you massively attractive, both personally and in business.

[00:23:25] All right, voice inflection now your voice inflection is part of your personality. So let's say someone ask you to do something and it's a reasonable request. Here's how you could say it. You could say, all right. No problem. You get that. All right. No problem. Or you could say, all right. No problem. All right. No problem. I mean, what message did that send? It's the same exact words, but the voice inflection said, I'm gung ho, I'm happy to do it. I'm an upbeat person. And that's another thing. Being an upbeat person is a great personality trait. Nobody likes Debbie Downers all the time, always looking at the bad side of things.

[00:24:12] All right. So before I give you access to 17 other pleasing personality traits. Let me talk to you about a quiz I want you to take at my school. Even if this doesn't apply to you, it's only takes two minutes. But you really should know and I'm sure you know somebody in your life that's got nephews, nieces, kids or maybe you or some adult that you know is going back to school. If you take this quiz, it only takes two minutes. It outlines seven rip offs that colleges are doing to families and kids going to college. This is I mean, you know, I told you about scam brigade. If these people hadn't brainwashed you for a hundred years about how important it is to go to college and how important they are, I swear that they'd be in jail because some of these things are clearly fraudulent, what they're doing. So check it out at IMTCVA.org. This will be in the show notes. You just click on it. That's Internet Marketing Training Center V.A. for Virginia and it's distance learning and it's going to be in-house this summer so you can be anywhere and go to this school. And then forward slash quiz. And like I said, only take you two minutes, but it's gonna make you mad, but pass it around other people that, you know, it could save them hundreds of thousands of dollars. It could help their kids or their people get into the work force in six months or less with an in-demand skill. So please take a look at the quiz and pass it around. And if I can help you to. Great. I'll be glad to talk to you about your future and career and Internet marketing, which I have been living since the commercial Internet started. I'm one of the first ones. OK. So. So it's a great, great lifestyle. I've been in lots of businesses. This is the best one.

[00:26:06] All right. So I want to give you access to 17 characteristics of pleasing personalities. And so I'm going to give you the link here and it will also be in the show notes. But it's really you know, it really is a thoughtful article. And if you can work on one of these things or two of these things, I swear to you, it's going to help you personally and professionally. People are going to see a change in you. And I'm not saying any of you were bad to start with. Probably if you're listening to this, you're fairly upbeat person to start with. But. Like, you know, I looked at the article very carefully and I'm going to work on some things about myself. You know, it's the the schoolhouse door is always open. You can always improve. It's the old kaizen attitude of continuous improvement. So don't feel threatened or don't feel like you're being attacked about your personality. No, it's just we can always improve. And the more you improve, the more riches that you gain. All right. So that's at opulentwisdom.com. I have no connection to this site, by the way. opulentwisdom.com/characters-of-a-pleasing-personality.

[00:27:29] All right. So that's the story, folks. So the bottom line is work on yourself. Now, if you're a guy, become a humble alpha and women love humble alphas. I got to tell you this, you know, fact, I heard this thing on TV where there's a big shortage of good guys out there that that are alpha. You know, a lot of these other types of men are out there. But. And women are happy to have them as friends to go, I don't know. To do stuff with. But they don't want to marry them. Okay. So there's you know, and this is not me reporting this. This is major news outlets of all types reporting this. There's a shortage of men out there. So if you become a humble alpha, you know, you'll be way ahead of the pack here in your personal life. That's for sure. Check that all out and Wednesday we'll have Special Forces, Green Beret, Lane Belone here to talk about what a humble Alpha Alpha movement is. And on Friday, Bronze Star recipient Steven Kuhn going to tell us more about the movement. And the book there's a charitable aspect to the book I hope you get involved in that helps feed children. So check all that out on Wednesday and Friday and I will see you on the flip flop. Catch ya later.

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