177 – A Marine Mom who does it all: Tom interviews Richelle Futch

Episode 177 – Richelle Futch
[00:00:09] Welcome to Screw the Commute. The entrepreneurial podcast dedicated to getting you out of the car and into the money, with your host, lifelong entrepreneur and multimillionaire, Tom Antion.

[00:00:24] Hey, everybody, it's Tom here with episode 177 of Screw the Commute podcast. I'm here with Richelle Futch and she's here with me today as part of Vetrepreneur Month. And check this out. Not only was she a Marine, she is a military spouse of the year at Fort Bragg. And I'll introduce her to you in a moment. And I hope you didn't miss episode 176. Alain Burrese. He's one of the few people on this earth I would trust my life to. You'll hear his story as a product creator. Novelist, army sniper, and most and the most important reason to stay in shape while in the service. Okay. Spoiler alert here. It has to do with running from MPs and also please tell your friends or if you know any vetrepreneurs or people that want to be vetrepreneurs or entrepreneurs tell about the podcast. The more successful it is, the more freebies I can get to our faithful listeners and those all kinds of tips. And also tell you about our podcast app that's in the Apple store where you can go to screwthecommute.com/app where we have complete instructions to show you how to use all the fancy features so you can take us with you on the road and put us on your cell phone and tablet. Now let's see. I've got a big freebie to thank you for listening this podcast. This my twenty seven dollar e-book, How to Automate Your Business. And just one of the tips in this e-book has saved me over. Listen to this. Seven and a half million keystrokes and I guarantee I didn't get carpal tunnel either because of this. This book has allowed me to handle up to one hundred and fifty thousand subscribers and 40000 customers without pulling my hair out. So check that out at screwthecommute.com/automatefree and if you scroll down on that the download page, you'll see another special gift I have there for you that some people are charging four and five thousand bucks for. You've got a free for listening to this podcast. All right. Our sponsors, the Internet Marketing Training Center of Virginia, we're approved by the Department of Defense to participate in the myCAA military spouse scholarship program. Now, we here at the school give a ninety five hundred dollars school scholarship to military spouses, veterans, active duty law enforcement, first responders. So that's part of our school and our thanks to that community. Now, the DOD gives them four thousand dollars so they can get a total of thirteen thousand five hundred if they're an eligible military spouse toward their education. They can take they can take it with them anywhere they happen to be deployed. So I'll tell you more about that later. You can check it out at IMTCVA.org/military. And of course, everything we talk about will be in the show notes this is episode 177. So screwthecommute.com/177.

[00:03:40] All right. Let's get to the main event. Richelle Futch is a Marine Corps veteran and military spouse. As a mental health counselor, she has over 15 years of clinical experience working with government agencies as well as in private practice. She's the author of the book and workshop Her Ruck Inside the Emotional Backpack of Military Wives, which has provided opportunities to serve military families worldwide. Richelle was recently awarded Armed Forces Insurance Fort Bragg Military Spouse of the Year for 2019. Richelle, are you ready to screw? The commute. I don't want your husband coming after me.

[00:04:28] I'm ready. I'm ready.

[00:04:29] You ready. Ready. So great to meet you. We were introduced by a great guy, Steven Kuhn from the vetrepreneur tribe. And I'm just thrilled to meet you. In fact, that was so thrilled and so honored that you agreed to be on our advisory board for our school, for the military. So thank you very much for that. I was thrilled that you said yes to that. And so tell everybody what you do now and then we'll take you back to and then bring you up through the ranks to see how you got where you are today. So tell everybody what you're doing now.

[00:05:05] I have been doing mostly online counseling and workshops and workbooks and in-person workshops. And so I'm very much in the digital space right now. It's being a military family and having to go with the needs of the army. We very much need to make sure that I can maintain an income that's very important to us to have dual incomes. And if you actually look at any of the surveys or military spouses around the world. Blue Star families send out a survey. And over 70 percent of families really need that dual income. And so the fact that we are pulled and pushed in and dragged around where we're on the country, I had to get on the digital in the digital market. And so doing the workshops and I do virtual groups and a lot of writing, I'm doing a lot more content creation than I was in regular private practice. And so that's kind of what I'm focusing on right now, is my her ruck really taking inside the emotional backpack of military wives and then also stepping into military children as well. And so that's kind of where my focus is right now.

[00:06:10] Yeah, that's that's great. But I do understand that you you were based in the Washington state, right. And had a nice practice there. Tell us what happened there after you got the deployed.

[00:06:21] So we we are actually on a family vacation and we came back for a kid's activity. They have a little kids. Q course there that they ran and we brought our children back. It was right before the eclipse. A couple of years ago. And on the first activity, one of the other soldiers came up to my husband and said, Hey, so I hear you're on the list with me to go to Fort Bragg. And I really thought he was just going to throw up right then and there because we weren't expecting it. We had been married for eight years at the time. We've always been at Fort Lewis. And I had a private practice there in the community. It was flourishing. My hours were set exactly what I wanted them to be. I was in my you know, I've always been sort of an entrepreneur since I got laid off from my state job. I didn't want to go back to working for somebody and having hours that I couldn't fluctuate. So knowing that I could set my schedule around his schedule and take clients on the evenings of the weekends, whatever I needed to do was really beneficial. And so hearing that news that I had to close that practice down was crushing. And so I had about a year to prepare before we had to leave. And so part of it was closing one business and then getting on the digital space so I could earn income in route.

[00:07:34] Well, there's there's an old saying, I never met a therapist that didn't need one.

[00:07:40] I think that's what drives us into the into the profession, actually.

[00:07:44] Well, I think you get that news slapped in your face probably was quite devastating.

[00:07:50] Oh, it was. It was. And, you know, that's the only place my kids have ever lived. And so we were very fortunate. A lot of military families don't have it so fortunate and they move every couple years. But we're both from Washington state. So his family was there and my family was there. Our kids loved their friends. And so, you know, I can roll with the punches. I can make it work. But when you're dealing with little kids emotions. Oh, that's. That was crushing.

[00:08:15] Oh, yeah. And I'm kind of right in the middle of it here in Virginia Beach, which is basically they call it Norfolk. Norfolk, Virginia. We pronounce it around here. If you fly it in. The flight attendant says NOR-folk. And then everybody looks at each other. But that's the thing. We're one of the largest collections of military in the world. And the military spouses have to take crappy jobs because the employers know they're going to leave and then they have to go somewhere else and take a crappy job. So that's kind of how we met in that I'm trying to find help find a solution for this with our portable skill set that the Department of Defense, in fact, in that scholarship program, they demand it be portable. They don't want any kind of, you know, art history stuff. They want things that can actually help the spouses make money. So that's that's what we're working on. So. So you said you you actually worked the state jobs. Let's take your way back, though, when you were a little kid. Were you entrepreneurial at all when you were little?

[00:09:15] I was the one in my family that always saved every penny that I had. Oh. And when my when my brother would get money, he would spend it. And then he would come to me to borrow money because I still saved every dime that I got.

[00:09:28] Did you charge him interest. 30 percent right.

[00:09:31] Definitely. No, I was the little sister, so I just would give it. I just want to make you happy sort of thing. I appreciate you hanging out with me from time to time, but I always had ideas. And my dad was sort of similar like that. We would go on car rides. He was a truck driver. And so sometimes I would ride with him. And we always spun up great business ideas together. We didn't really pull the trigger, but we always create in our minds these great money making opportunities for businesses that we would like to see out there. So it was always kind of in my mind. And I was always thinking that I was always writing and creating back then as well.

[00:10:06] So then so then what you got? You went through school and then.

[00:10:11] I went through high school. My parents got divorced and they sort of kind of, you know, as people do when they're going through crisis, lost their minds for a short period of time. And they kind of were doing their own thing. And so I was sort of kind of left with a senior year of high school and nobody really around to support me. And. Yeah. So I ended up nobody sat down and talked to me about college. Nobody sat down and talked me about applications. Kind of was just flailing in the wind. And I sort of wanted something different. I wanted something better. And I knew if I stayed where I was, I knew exactly what that look would look like. And that was scarier to me than any possibilities out there in the world. And so I went and started talking to military recruiters.

[00:10:53] Wow. Just on your own?

[00:10:55] Just on my own. I said, I'm gonna see. I want to. I want a bed. And I said, what can I do?

[00:11:04] And then. So how did you pick the that the Marines pick you? They usually say, what, a few. Good. They can't say anymore if you're good men.

[00:11:12] You get that right. Yeah. So I was actually talking to the Air Force recruiter. I don't know why. Because I think, you know, females of a lot of. We just kind of go toward the comfort, I think, because Air Force is known for, you know, the brains, the comfort. And there's a lot of great things that they have to offer. And the Marines would come in and they sort of had this razzing with the Air Force guy and they're like, hey, man, is our coffee made yet? You know pitching him some stuff. And I. That was my personality. I was definitely sarcastic. I was easygoing. And I just kind of they were kind of making fun of me, like, oh, you couldn't handle this. That kind of thing. And I was such a sucker. I like, oh, I'll prove you. I can hook, line and sinker. Me right in. And so I went Marine Corps all all the way.

[00:11:59] Now Marine Corps is like way smaller. There's only a couple hundred thousand Marines compared to millions of the other forces. Right?

[00:12:06] Oh, it's so much smaller. I just recently had the pleasure of sitting on a focus group for special operations in the army. They're recruiting and they need to recruit an army special operations, the same number of Marines that there are.

[00:12:20] Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I heard one time you could put all the Marines like down on the mall in D.C.

[00:12:27] Yeah, we really are the few in the crowd.

[00:12:30] Yeah. There you go. Actually, if you look through on our military page, one of the guys that I've help in the Internet stuff was one of the poster guys on the posters. You know, for the Marines, you know that. Yeah. It was really cool. All right. So so you went through the Marines and I don't want to sloughed that off because that's that's a lot of work. Right. And how did you how did you make it through there? I mean, that at the time, were the guys pushing you harder than they would somebody else?

[00:13:01] So in the Marine Corps, it's still. It was still very segregated. So we were with other females, except when it came to like the ranges. And like any of the defensive stuff than the guy instructors would come in and we'd be incorporated with that man. You know, you lose your identity in the Marine Corps and your if they ask you what your name is, you have to say recruit. If they ask you where you're from, we're from 4th Battalion. That was the female battalion. That's what you're allowed to say. If not, it was hell for like the next day or two. And so we you know, when I got out of boot camp, I actually was promoted out of boot camp because I graduated the top of my platoon and I loved it. I loved being there. I think the Marine Corps was all like boot camp. I think in that time frame of my life, I probably would've stayed in because I was such a tomboy and I loved all that rough and tough shooting stuff. But I was in accounting and so I worked as a comptroller, complete opposite, if you can imagine. But I but I really I really liked it and I enjoyed it. But when you got out into the field with into your MLS and things like that, you know, the culture was a lot different. When I was in and it was you got to prove yourself to be here. And so I had no problem doing that. I roll with the punches. I made sure that I fit in with everybody and I would not fall out of a run even if I had to get an I.V. afterwards.

[00:14:27] Do you throw hand grenades?

[00:14:30] We did. Well, we did a boot camp once I got into accounting land. It was not, as you know, a dirt ridden as you just had to do your regular training.

[00:14:41] And what was your weapon system?

[00:14:44] We had the M-16 A2s. That's what we were assigned. Yeah.

[00:14:48] All right. So. All right. So then how did you get out of there?

[00:14:52] So when my when my time was coming to an end, I I was forced with sort of what do I want to do? What is this looking at? And getting a degree was very important to me. I didn't know what I wanted my degree in, but I wanted to check that box. And I had been taking a course here, like I would take a course on my lunch hour. I would take a course after work. I was always kind of collecting credits. And so when I got out, I thought, I'm going to pull all my resources into just finishing this degree. So I say I can, I have it and I check that box. And so I went to college and I ended up volunteering as a court appointed special advocate, which is a for people who are aware of that. It's very similar to a guardian ad litem. Like a lot of time, guardian ad litems are attorneys, but classes are volunteers who are the voice for children in the foster care system. So we are sworn into the courts and we get reports after interviewing everybody. What's the best interests for the child? I was doing that simultaneously while getting my bachelor's degree. And the social sciences just were fun. Easy. It spoke to me. I was always good at reading people. I was always good at navigating people. And so it was a natural progression. When I graduated, I went to work for the state of Washington as a counselor in the juvenile justice system.

[00:16:10] Ok. And so you said that job ended, though, right?

[00:16:13] Yes. So I I worked in intensive management unit with a male incarcerated youth.

[00:16:19] Were you married at this time?

[00:16:21] I was not married at this time.

[00:16:23] OK. So you're working for the state? Not married. Getting rich on their big salary, right?

[00:16:27] Getting rich on that big state salary. But I worked swing shifts. And so that works well for me because I have ever since the military, I did not want to get up any earlier than I needed to. So I liked rolling into work at like 10:00 or 11:00. Working a little bit later. That worked for me.

[00:16:45] I call it the crack of noon. I get up at the crack of noon.

[00:16:50] Right. It's it's there's nothing wrong with that. I I feel sorry for the people who feel like they need to get into that routine of you have to wake up by five thirty or four thirty.

[00:17:01] I get a lot of those on here and I ask them what time they get up. I get up at four. And I meditate for an hour. Yeah, I'm technically meditating.

[00:17:12] I meditate really well, 11 p.m. to 5:00 a.m..

[00:17:18] Okay, so you're working for the state.

[00:17:20] So working for this state. I actually the treatment model that I used that we were using in a state facility came really easy to me. I was able to take this sort of master's level doctorate level language and transfer it down to like an eighth grade language for the other staff that I was working with. And so they pulled me into doing trainings. And then I was promoted to a treatment coordinator where I was counseling other counselors on how to do this treatment model. And during that time, I thought, wow, I'm always teaching to other people. Where am I getting taught? You know, I was getting might sessions were being recorded. I was getting great feedback. I was doing really well. And so that's when I decided to go get my master's in social work at the University of Washington and see where that took. And about the last year of my master's program. That's when I got laid off. The state funding for treatment went away. And so therefore, my position just poof, went away.

[00:18:16] Now, who is paying for the master's program?

[00:18:19] I was paying for it with student loans and I still have student loans.

[00:18:23] Wow. Yeah. We want to help folks get out of that. But the. No. But the bachelor's paid for by the military.

[00:18:29] Yes. I use my GI Bill for my bachelors.

[00:18:32] Okay, great. Okay. So your your job goes poof. And, you don't hear Marines saying poof.

[00:18:39] Yeah. I get three little kids now.

[00:18:42] So, yeah, you can say poof. The keyword. So. So. So you're sitting there unfinished master's degree. What happened?

[00:18:53] I had actually just met my now husband during that process of my master's program. So, I mean, it's a three year program. I'm in the last year and he's getting ready to deploy. So we get married. And we'll joke because I'm like, well, I need health insurance and he's like, I might die. Be nice if I had a wife, you know, sort of thing that joke around about the motivation for getting married would be dead. But, you know, nine years later, we're still here and still happy and so it's good.

[00:19:21] And so I finished my master's degree and I had to do my practicums. And so I was able to work in emergency room, get experience working for the Warrior Transition Battalion at Fort Lewis. You know, really gaining a lot of information and experience. So if I wanted to go back to work, I could. However, I just you know, I was looking at the funding that, you know, the amount that they get paid. And I thought that's what I want to set my prices. I don't want to be controlled by somebody else again. And so I thought a private practice would be perfect to gain, you know, the hours that I needed for my license. And in. Really be able to do and work with the clients that I wanted to work with, because when you work for an agency, they assign you your client. It's a really freeing thing when somebody can come sit down in front of you in whatever business you have and you can say this isn't a good fit. Let me refer you to somebody else.

[00:20:17] So this required though, an office, right?

[00:20:23] It did. And so I at first when I first started out, I went in for supervision. It's one of the requirements that we have to do is have supervision. My supervisor at the time knew of a friend who was subleasing her office one or two days a week. And so I only wanted to start out one or two days ago, pay them a smaller amount, just the daily rate of the office, and let my practice grow to the point where I was starting to have to say no and go, well, I can either say no or I can get my own office and open up more days in my calendar. So it was really beneficial to take those baby steps starting the business.

[00:21:01] All right. Let me stop and recap that for everybody listening. It's a way to get started. I mean, if you are going to have a bricks and mortar, something which even if it's the therapist's office is technically bricks and mortar, you have to go through an office somewhere. That would be something to look for is look for a sublease or look for a maybe a room in somebody else's office you can rent. And now they have these places where I know in the big cities it's a collaborative thing, like it's a big thing with a conference room and people just rent one office and then they're surrounded with other entrepreneurs and they use the conference room. I forget what that's called, but. Coworking space. So those are ways to get started. If you need that kind. Now, of course, I'm going to try to talk you out of it and have you going online. But if you're dead set on needing space, that's a way that inch into it. Because, I mean, I got stuff. That's whether I use it or not sixty five hundred dollars a month plus utilities and all this stuff, you know, for my school. So. So this is a way that you can ease into it. So great. So you're you're in there a couple days a week and then you're saying no to people. So you expanded to your own office.

[00:22:16] So expand it to my own office. And at first I partnered with another woman who also wanted to increase her hours. And so we could do a seven day split where I had three days.

[00:22:27] Well, there's another thing. Yeah. Another another way to do it is get somebody to collaborate with you.

[00:22:31] She was also a military spouse, though, and then she ended up having to move into the whole office to myself. And because at that point, I had already had two of my children, I worked quick.

[00:22:44] Say that that kind of snuck in there really fast.

[00:22:46] Yeah. So there's there's kids all of a sudden in this timeline and I didn't want to work all the time. I wanted, you know, I was just one of those people. I think everybody's different. But I wanted the majority of my children's influence to be from me and their father. And so I'm at home with my kids as often as I can. And I when I took them to daycare, it was usually maybe four hours, once a week or something like that first and socialization and for them to get used to other people. But for the most part, I was the primary caregiver. And so it's really funny with women and entrepreneurs and military spouses, we're always struggling with that. You know, I'm just a stay at home mom or something like that. And so while I am a stay at home mom, I'm also an entrepreneur. And I also work because I'm kind of both. And that's the treatment model I work with as dialectical behavior therapy. And it's all about two opposing truths, both coexisting. And so my life is filled with dialectics, that's for sure.

[00:23:44] Dialectics. I explain that because when I first read it, I'm thinking she's she's doing diabolical things.

[00:23:50] Dialectical behavior therapy. It's a treatment model that actually formed out at the University of Washington from Marsha Linehan. And the dialectical piece is meaning we're trying to find synthesis between two opposites. And so one of the big dialectics that we talk about in DBT is acceptance and change. And so when you're meeting clients that you want to accept them where they are. And it's the same thing with business coaching. You know, if you have somebody in front of you and you're a business coach, you need to know exactly where they are in that field. OK. And at the same time, you need to push them to change or they're never going to grow. And so it's one of those things that's taking two sides of anything and saying, how can we find the middle ground? So both of these truths can also coexist together.

[00:24:37] Oh, I'm amazed. I was. Oh, and I'm I'm relieved, too. I thought it was electric shock therapy dialect.

[00:24:44] I don't. I think there's some still legal in some place. I'm not sure.

[00:24:51] Well, if it isn't, it should be so. So speaking of all that, so you're talking about staying at home and everything. You have some parenting products.

[00:25:01] I do. I've actually taken. So what are the things I did in the community in my private practice, because I was so used to working with those behaviorally challenged adolescents in the institution, I counseling them gave me such great insight into the parenting mistakes that good parents make.

[00:25:20] Yeah, I mean, the kids would probably be fine if the parents weren't nutjobs. I'm allowed to say that. I guess as a therapist you aren't.

[00:25:30] As a therapist, I'm not allowed to confirm nor deny that.

[00:25:34] But there's a lot of things that good parents do that's completely counterproductive to the health and well-being of their of their children. And they don't even know if they can make jokes with it with a sensitive child, that is, take it wrong. And they take it to heart. They take it in their core. And then they start responding as if they are that person. And, you know, I really kind of blame Oprah, I think, for making this society such a feeling society. Just hold it together, block it down and put on a strong face and keep going. And now the pendulum has swung in the opposite direction where everybody's needs and feelings have to be validated. And in reality, one of the secret languages that I teach is validation, because when you have these difficult teens, if you can learn to validate them, that doesn't mean you agree with them. It just means you're finding a kernel of truth in what they're experiencing. And then you can still say and you still need to go clean your room or and you still need to go to school today and you still need to do these things. But I hear you and I understand you. And so. Taking all that special skills that I learned with working with these broken kids, these criminal children and then working with in the community with parents and kids and getting the same sort of fighting the same vulnerabilities in the community that I did in the institution, it really gave me a wakeup call to say, you know what, parents need to know what I know. And that's one of the great things about the skills that I teach, is that I don't want you to have to keep coming to me every day for two years of the rest of your life. I want to teach you what I know so you can go and do these things yourself and be successful.

[00:27:17] What do you say to the parents? This all my kids. Good. My kids. Fine.

[00:27:21] Well, if their kid is good and fine, then there's no problems that they should be complaining about there.

[00:27:26] Couldn't it be that their mother buried her head in the sand or they're not around enough to see it.

[00:27:32] Absolutely. And I will say that motivation, engagement is always the first step that I work with. When I work with clients, if they're not motivated or engaged to see some change, I just tell them, good luck with that. Good luck with that. And move on. You're not up or you're not a good fit for what I'm doing. And I can't take up a space in what I'm doing for somebody who's gonna be that resistant. It's just not going to work. There's there's always somebody else waiting to get into your program. And so I would much rather work with the ready, then spin my wheels with somebody who is in denial.

[00:28:01] Is this an online course or one on one or both? Or what?

[00:28:05] My parenting program is it's a one on one online. And so people who want to enroll in my parenting program, what I'll do is depending on the cost, I can either come to them and do like a weekend assessment or for a smaller price. We can just do that virtually over the Internet in zoom or something like that. And we talk about what's getting in the way. I can interview all of them, the players and the family. And then they follow my 30 day program to the tee and they see massive results. They see sitting through dinner without arguing with their children.

[00:28:40] What fun is that? Come on. That helps your digestion doesn't it?

[00:28:47] It's funny, because my slogan for that parenting program is you are the magic wand. Because how often do therapies say, if I had a magic wand, I would just wave it right. But it's not what parents know. You are the magic wand. You are. You are the authority in your home. And you need to take that back. You need to be the adult.

[00:29:06] When you go visit a home. Or is it surreptitious? I mean, the kids don't know why you're really there.

[00:29:13] Oh, no, I I'm very much just lay it on the table. This is what's going on. And a lot of times when I work with the kids, I say, I'm here to observe you, but I'm here to change your parents.

[00:29:23] Oh, yeah. You've got to get them by in somehow.

[00:29:26] Yes, it's true. That's what I'm doing is I'm really changing the parents. And so the kids can participate or not. It's not going to matter when the parents change their behavior, the household changes.

[00:29:35] You know, I hate to say so, but it sounds like dog training to me.

[00:29:40] You know, what's funny is one of the best one of the best behavioral books I've read is called Don't Shoot the Dog. And so it is natural. It is. It's very similar.

[00:29:51] Yeah. We have a protection dog company. And so I've been kind of immersed in the dog world for the last five or six years. And the dogs are fine. It's the owners are screwed up. I mean, there there really wouldn't be any shelters if it wasn't for screwed up dog owners.

[00:30:09] And there we have it.

[00:30:11] So you can't say it, but I can. It sounds like dog training to me. They can check this course out. Where was the best place to go? Check this out. And is the her ruck course in a different place or were these all this one website or what?

[00:30:25] They're in different places because I do as you know, it's all about marketing specifically to your clientele, the parenting workbook and program is at powerbackparenting.com.

[00:30:40] OK. We'll have that in the show notes. PowerBackParenting.com.

[00:30:45] And then her ruck is herruck.com. And now we have the book and we also have the workbook happening at the same time. The book is launching on May 8 to 2020 and the workbook and the workshops are happening now. And so if you want to bring the workshop to your area, it's best to just contact me and we will make that happen. We'll find sponsorships in your areas or whatever we need to do to get there.

[00:31:09] Nice. What's the best way to contact?

[00:31:13] You can email me directly at RichelleFutch@gmail.com.

[00:31:25] There we go. And we'll also have that in the show notes. So we got to take a brief sponsor break. And when we come back, we're going to ask Richelle to tell us what's a typical day look like for her and how she stays motivated.

[00:31:37] So, folks, since this is Ventrepreneurs Month, I want to tell you a little bit more about how my school supports military families and how our training can help them. First of all, we give a 50 percent or that's a ninety five hundred dollar scholarship to them just to thank them for their service. This applies to active duty or veterans. Then for eligible military spouses, the Department of Defense gives them an additional four thousand dollars. Now, the reason this is perfect for military families and I know this firsthand living in Virginia Beach, where we have probably the biggest collection of military in the world. I mean, spouses around here normally have to take crappy jobs at lower than average pay because employers know they're going to get deployed. And the employers don't want to invest a lot of money in people. They know we're going to be leaving. And then the spouse has to get deployed and find another crappy job in their new location, or they have to alienate every friend that's in sight with their multi-level marketing crap. Right. So you don't want that to happen. So you can work legitimately from home if you get deployed somewhere else. I mean, it doesn't matter if you have this kind of online skills that you can be handling social media, e-mail marketing, shopping cart stuff, customer service, then in all the other things. Every business on earth needs. And and not only that, you can. You can study at home with no expenses for books, travel or childcare. I mean, a perfect fit for military families. And one more thing. You can also sell your own products and service with the same skills that you learn. So check it all out at IMTCVA.org/military and then give me a call. I'll be thrilled to support your military family. So check that out in the show notes also if you'd missed that link, this is episode 177. So screwthecommute.com/177.

[00:33:39] All right. Let's get back to the main event. Richelle Futch is here. She's a Marine veteran. She's the super duper military spouse. She's a therapist. She's a writer, author, speaker. So. So, Richelle, what's the what's a typical day look like for you now?

[00:33:56] So when we move to North Carolina, I decided to homeschool my kids. So I we have curriculum.

[00:34:04] How old are they?

[00:34:06] My oldest is trained eight this month. And then I have a six year old and a three year old.

[00:34:11] Oh, good. That will give you time to figure out the new math.

[00:34:15] Oh yes new math, huh. We have a really great program that we follow. And so if I didn't have these premade curriculums that were made by other people, I probably would not be able to succeed at it. But knowing that we're so young, we get it. We knock our schoolwork, done it out in like three hours all day. And so we just get to it. We get it done. And then we go outside, do some activities. But I can position that. And so if I have something, if either a client on video that needs to meet at 9:00 a.m. that's fine, I can do that. My kids can entertain themselves somewhere and I can do that and then start the school afterwards. Normally we do school from like nine to noon and then we break for lunch and then I have the rest of the afternoon fresh and creative things that I need to do. And I can just call in a baby sitter and they come over and they do things. We also have a really good baby sitter that can go over curriculum with them. If it's something that brings me out of town. So I definitely have problem solved. Any of those barriers that gets in the way of me getting to my business. And then I just have to have a couple set hours every day in the evenings. That's just my time. And so if I have work that gets the need to get done, I get work done. If there's some sort of personal growth time and I have nothing that's pressing for business, then I can do my personal growth time in there. But always having a set couple hours in the evening after bedtime. That's just business time.

[00:35:39] Okay. So what type of things are you working on in your business.

[00:35:43] Right now, my her rock workshop is actually growing pretty fast.

[00:35:47] You do them on bases, or what?

[00:35:47] So we go on bases and sometimes we work at community centers and things like that. If somebody has sponsored it, we're going to other states. They will work with veterans and active duty organizations who want to come together to sponsor the workshop. But one of the programs that I'm working with right now. It really wants to take this on as one of their main veterans programs. And so I'm working on writing up a train the trainer curriculum so I can train other trainers and license my program to them and so I can get paid a set amount and I don't even have to be there to teach it. I can. I will be the trainer to train them to make sure that there are other mental health professionals or a training program to my standards.

[00:36:33] Right now, what type of businesses do you like to sponsor? Does this mean that it's free for the military spouse to come? The sponsor pays for your fee to put it on or what?

[00:36:44] So usually the sponsors will pay for the location. Any snacks they'll pay. Like my travel and accommodations if I need to be there and they will either it's either free for the military spouse or right around ten dollars the price of the workbook. And so some organizations believe that they have a lot of no shows if there's no skin in the game. And so they'll charge that 10 dollars and they'll recoup it. So they're not paying for the workshop. Workbooks and other organizations know that the spouses will show up. And so they they don't charge him and they cover that work.

[00:37:16] How many typically do you get.

[00:37:17] You get because of the nature of the workshop. I like to keep it around twenty five. But I have gone up to 50 and in the room at the same time. It's really important for me to have them have eye contact with one another with we're unpacking the things that you're carrying around in your ruck. It's it's bonding, it's connection building. And usually the spouses are connected to each other in some way, either to special operations. They're the same. You know, they're they're in the same special operations. They're on the same teams. Their spouses are on the same team. I should say. And or they're at the same installations. And so. Even when I work in a community, there are spouses out there that they're connected through their isolation. They're not feeling connected to other military spouses. And so they leave with each other's phone numbers and they've just been super vulnerable with them for the course of eight hours. And that's growing. And so it's really important to not hit thousands of people. If I was just to give a speech on why this is important, I could do that in an hour and give a speech in front of thousands of people. However, to get them to actually do the work, I need that eye contact. I need them to sit in that space with people. And that's one of the things that being a mental health professional really brings the to the table when you're teaching workshops.

[00:38:28] Now, is this across branches or is that all that use the same branches there at one time?

[00:38:34] Oh, no. Across branches.

[00:38:35] Okay. And how do you get the word out?

[00:38:39] It's been really interesting. I had some strategic partnerships. I've also, you know, the Military Spouse of the Year program was really great for me because it had what I was doing right on there. Somebody nominated me because they knew the program I was doing. And that community is small enough that when you do something well, people leave and then they go and take it to their chaplain and they go and take it to their, you know, their command. And they say this was great. We need more people to do that. And so it's really spread by the relationships that I've built.

[00:39:09] Have you done one in Virginia Beach?

[00:39:10] I have not done one in Virginia Beach.

[00:39:12] What are you waiting for? I got the place to have it.

[00:39:17] Well, let's do it.

[00:39:19] You have it at my school. You can stay at the retreat center. You won't have any expenses. Yeah. Awesome. So. So how do you stay motivated?

[00:39:31] Business for me, and I think a lot of entrepreneurs feel this way. It's not just a hobby to me, but it feels like a hobby. So instead of like joining a bowling league or a softball league, I used to play sports a lot easier, just softball, soccer and things like that in the community. But the passion that I feel when I'm creating fuels me like I would if I just spent two hours with my best friends. I get high just from creating and so I'm always motivated when I get that alone time. And I think a lot of entrepreneurs too have like their kind of mood dependent. And so I've created my business to sort of give me space when I need a couple days break.

[00:40:13] That's the beauty about working for yourself. You can set your own schedule. Although there is another old saying that an entrepreneur will work 18 hours a day for themselves to get out of working 8 hours a day for somebody else.

[00:40:24] That's me. That that fits me, though. It does. I would if you if there was an entrepreneurial meetup, I could go sit down, talk other people's business for hours, and I would walk away tremendously motivated and engaged in my own business, even if it had nothing to do with what I was working on specifically. I love that. That just fuels me.

[00:40:47] Yeah. I mean, I have never had a job other than high school and like one summer in college and all these years. So yeah, I just live and breathe this. So, Richelle, thanks so much for coming on. This has been really great seeing how you've progressed and how you're taking care of family and business at the same time and how you worked your way into business with low risk by those collaborations. Then a couple days a week. It's very, very great.

[00:41:16] Well, I appreciate you having me on the show and letting me tell my story. And I really wanted to add one thing just to gratitude to you for the programs that you're running. Because when I did have to pivot my business from brick and mortar to the digital space, I spent thousands of dollars out of pocket and more so than any then the program that you're running as well. And so that is a huge solution that I wish I had known about two years ago.

[00:41:44] And, you know, I know what it's like. I mean, with no support and nobody that's blazed the trail and frontier of going down rabbit holes, there's so many things online that can just, you know, sink you. And there's so many shysters, too. I mean, people promoting stuff that's terrible. And you don't know any better when you're trying to do it yourself. So. So, no, I'm I'm thrilled that I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I'm thrilled that we'll be able to together help other people not having to do that.

[00:42:14] Absolutely. It's a great partnership because I know people that I don't want to see fall in the same pitfalls that I do and be in debt on their credit cards for these, you know, sham of, a course, is of somebody who literally learned it the week before they're teaching it.

[00:42:31] And barely learned it. So thanks so much. And I can't wait to see by the time they hear this. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'll be seeing you that weekend that the Military Influencers Conference in D.C. and just thrilled to have met you. And your story is very inspiring for a lot of people.

[00:42:53] Yeah. Looking forward to seeing you soon.

[00:42:55] All right. Thanks, everybody. So we'll catch you on the next episode in Vetrepreneurs Month. That's September 2019. Be a lot of great stories yet to come. Catch y'all later.

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