534 – Merry Christmas from all of us: Tom talks Christmas Jokes and Trivia

Episode 534 – Christmas Jokes And Trivia
[00:00:09] Welcome to Screw the Commute. The entrepreneurial podcast dedicated to getting you out of the car and into the money, with your host, lifelong entrepreneur and multimillionaire, Tom Antion.

[00:00:24] Hey everybody, it's Tom here with episode five hundred and thirty four of Screw the Commute podcast. It's Christmas Eve morning. I'm actually recording this the same day I'm releasing it, and all we're going to do today is Christmas jokes and Christmas trivia. How about that? None of the other stuff I hit you with all the time. Let's get right to it. I know you're going to be busy today. So here we go. I'm going to mix up trivia and jokes, and it's going to be a lot of fun. All right. And and I'm going to sing to you a little bit later, so you might want to pull off the road when that happens. So you don't, you know, crash because I don't know, it was going to go, well, it's going to come out. All right. So here we go. We're going to we're going to start telling some jokes and doing some trivia. So here we go. And these are all clean, by the way. I have dirty ones because I actually went to Santa School when I had my entertainment company and we did naughty Santa. But we're going to just do everything. Not explicit today. How about that? Here we go. So how is Christmas exactly like your job, I know you're going to use this one.

[00:01:37] How is Christmas exactly like your job? You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit. Ok. How do you wash your hands over the holiday with Santa? Let's see what do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad, a Christmas tree with an iPad, a pine apple? I mean, I'm having a lot of fun here, folks, whether you are or not. Why is Santa afraid of getting stuck in a chimney? He has claustrophobia. You can you can tell your kids all these ones. All right. So here's a piece of trivia. The movie Miracle on 34th Street is based on a real life department store. What is it? I'll give you doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. It's Macy's. The Miracle on 34th Street. Ok. This one I really like. All right. What do you call a bunch of chess players? Bragging about their game in a hotel lobby. What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Oh. Chestnuts roasting in an open foyer. Oh, man, this episode is going to be twice as long as I thought because I'm laughing, so. Uh, OK. Here's an oldie, but goodie. Why does Santa have three gardens, so he can? Ho, ho ho. Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey, he's always stuffed.

[00:04:06] All right, here's a trivia question for you. What color, what color is Elvis Christmas? Doo doo doo doo. All right. Do do I'm not talking about the dog going in the house, OK, it's blue blue Christmas for Elvis. What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack. This cracks me up a gingerbread man, I went to the doctors. Good complaining of a sore knee, a gingerbread man went to the doctors complaining of a sore knee. The the doctor asked him, have you tried icing it? I'm sorry, I can't help it. Oh, man. All right. What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a cause. Oh, man. Next page. All right, trivia question. In the classic Christmas movie How The Grinch Stole Christmas, The Grinch was described with three words. What are they? Let me give you a chance to think about it, argue with your spouse of what it was. All right, it was stink stank stunk from the Grinch. Okay, here's another one just cracks me up. What did the third wise man say after his friends had already presented gold and frankincense? What did the third man wise man say after his friends had already presented gold and frankincense? But wait, there's murder. All right. What what nationality is Santa Claus North Polish? This is perfect for today. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It's Christmas Eve. Let's see. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing.

[00:07:27] It was on the house. Here's here's one for you brainiacs out there. If Santa and Mrs. Claus had a baby, what would he be? A subordinate clause. What does Santa spend his hard earned salary on? Jingle Bells? All right, here's a trivia question in which modern day country was St. Nicholas born in which modern day country was St. Nicholas born it? Answer give you a second to argue about it. Guess, guess, guess. It was Turkey originally called Patera, a city in the ancient district of Licia in Asia Minor. I didn't know that. Ok. What what brand of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson.

[00:09:06] Let's see what's next here. Ok, what goes? Oh, oh oh. Santa walking backwards. All right, another trivia question, what real life person is Santa Claus based on? Give you a couple of seconds, think about it. It's no, it's not Orson Welles, it's the Christian Bishop St. Nicholas. There you go. All right, I got several so snowman jokes, and then the singing is coming up. What do you get when you cross a snowman, a snowman with a vampire? Frost bite. What do you call a snowman who vacations in the tropics? A puddle. And why was the snowman looking through a bunch of carrots? He was picking his nose. Oh, man. Ok, now here, here's here's the question.

[00:10:46] And I'm going to sing the answer to you. So pull over so you don't wreck your car. All right, question. In the song Winter Wonderland. What do we call the snowman? All right. What do we call the snowman in the song Winter Wonderland? All right, here's the answer. In the meadow, we can build a snowman. We'll pretend that he is Parson Brown. He'll say, Are you married? We'll say, No man, but you can do the job while you're in town. There we go. Parson Brown. All right. All right. Here's another trivia question which one of Santa's reindeer has the same name as another holiday mascot? Hmm. Which of Santa's reindeer has the same name as another holiday mascot? Maybe a couple of seconds to think about it. Everybody should be yelling out answers now. Yes, it's Cupid. Yeah, there we go. All right. Last trivia question. What are you supposed to do under the mistletoe? This is the easy one. That's right, kiss and you better hurry up because they're trying to cancel the mistletoe. Believe it or not. So go out and kiss the one you love and tell them how important they are to you. Hey, merry Christmas from screw the commute, everybody that works here and I hope you have a great Christmas or whatever holiday you happen to celebrate and a great, great, great upcoming New Year. I'll catch you on the next episode. See you later.

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