Tom talks with Roberto Candelaria about life, loss and how a lifestyle business can keep you going even after the death of a loved one.
NOTE: Complete transcript available at the bottom of the page.
Screw The Commute Podcast Show Notes Episode 227
How To Automate Your Business – https://screwthecommute.com/automatefree/
Internet Marketing Training Center – https://imtcva.org/
Higher Education Webinar – https://screwthecommute.com/webinars[00:22] Tom's introduction to Roberto Candelaria [04:15] Trying to figure out all the craziness at end of life [09:31] Driving a Suburban into the sand dunes [10:43] A dark time in depression [16:14] How two dogs helped get Roberto off the couch [23:00] Getting married in the middle of all this [29:20] What the future holds
Higher Education Webinar – https://screwthecommute.com/webinars
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How To Automate Your Business – https://screwthecommute.com/automatefree/
Internet Marketing Retreat and Joint Venture Program – https://greatinternetmarketingtraining.com/
Roberto's website – https://robertocandelaria.com/
Roberto on Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/robertocandelaria/
Warren's website – https://warrencarlyle.com/
Warren on Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/octonation/
Honoring Dad – https://robertocandelaria.com/honoring-dad/
Internet Marketing Training Center – https://imtcva.org/
Roberto Candelaria – https://screwthecommute.com/50/
Professional Speaking – https://screwthecommute.com/226/
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Episode 227 – Roberto Candelaria
[00:00:09] Welcome to Screw the Commute. The entrepreneurial podcast dedicated to getting you out of the car and into the money, with your host, lifelong entrepreneur and multimillionaire, Tom Antion.
[00:00:24] Hello, everyone. This is Tom here with episode 227 of Screw the Commute podcast. We're recording today on Christmas Eve, 2019. This gonna be a little bit different show than are my usual fare of rah rah sis boom bah kind of stuff I've got Roberto Candelaria here with with me today and I don't know, maybe 12:30 a.m. last night, I get a text from him and it's one of the goofy pictures he always sends me that probably can't describe here on the podcast, but. So he started talking a little bit and he kind of revealed to me that he's been a little bit down for the past quite a few months after the passing of his father. So I thought this would be a you know, I ask him about it if it was OK with him or if he felt that it would be OK. And to talk about how, you know, having a lifestyle business allowed him to take care of his mother, take care of his father. And then when his father passed to be able to sit on the couch and just chill for a while, trying to get over the grief of his his father passing, and he he agreed to it. So that's we're gonna talk about today. And for those of you that don't know, Roberto has been on here before, I forget what episode it was because early on and he's a sponsorship expert and has worked with some of the big people. I'm not going to read all the people who shared the stage with because I'm not on the list. So he didn't feel to on there. So I guess I'm not worthy, but that he's worked with all kinds of enormous companies, BMW and Dell and Disney. He loves Disney. So, Roberto, how are you feeling, man?
[00:02:19] I'm doing pretty good. And the answers, episode number 50. Y'all listen want to go back episode number 50. Tom and I had a different type of conversation there.
[00:02:31] Yeah, yeah. It was all about sponsorship or what it can do for your business and all the things he's been teaching for years and doing himself. So I don't really recall what. When was it when your dad passed.
[00:02:46] So it was January second. Twenty nineteen. And you know, as you as you mentioned, we're recording this on on Christmas Eve. So going into the really, you know, first holiday season without my dad and he actually had a stroke and a brain hemorrhage on New Year's Eve, 2018. You know what? What led to all of this? And so, you know, the past year has been. I used the word interesting and that it has taught me so much about myself as as a human being, as a son, as a partner. And this is tell me a lot about even just entrepreneurship and and realizing that, you know, things that I've learned from you. You know, even in the Internet marketing training school about, you know, hey, find something and do it over and over and over.
[00:03:38] When you talk about your Antion success method and about shampooing, you know, it's one of those things that over the past several years that were just things that I just kept doing and doing and doing. And, you know, no one can prepare you for the loss of a parent or sibling.
[00:03:56] I don't think really anybody, you know, even even the loss of a pet. And so this year has been a great year in learning about myself and a great exploration through their grief and how having a business. And while I'm never planning for the loss of a parent, planning in business allowed me to be able to grieve after the loss of a parent.
[00:04:17] Well, in addition to that, even before that, you were spending a lot of time helping your mother take care of your dad and figure in all the all the craziness that goes out when someone's reaching the end of their life on earth. Because I remember a lot of times, though, I'm over here, you know, with mom and dad and, you know, take a listen to you after that.
[00:04:39] Trying to figure things out. Right.
[00:04:42] So it's so dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's and in 2015 and it was a. A very long and also very long journey, I'll say. And at the same time, one of the one of the best journeys that I think that I've ever been on in that during that time, you know, once you find out that somebody has an illness, that there's not a cure for you, you have the opportunity to connect in a way that you probably did not connect before.
[00:05:13] You know, and I think that we're all grateful for people and that we know that we love our parents or there's there's people in our lives that we love. And then when you find out that there's this diagnosis that there is no cure for, it's it's a completely different type of conversation. Knowing that each one could potentially be the last and wanting to know as much as you can before that time comes. And so those three years were an amazing journey. And while they were difficult through the ups and downs medically and navigating the health care system here in America, the insurance system here in America, I do not wish that on anyone. But the lessons learned from my dad over the years and the conversations were things that I'll carry with me forever.
[00:05:59] Like many of us didn't really start out that easily with your dad.
[00:06:05] No, it didn't. So, you know, people that follow us online, you know, know that I'm just very open about. About me. About. About life. About love. About that sense of screwed up humor that I have.
[00:06:23] And, you know, and between my junior year and senior year of high school, when I decided to publicly say, hey, I'm gay. You know, it's because I've got to go looking for the Facebook post. Facebook did not exist when I was in high school, so you won't find it.
[00:06:38] But, you know, it was one of those scenarios that that didn't very go go very well.
[00:06:45] You know, times have really changed, especially in the Latino culture, where there's so much about the much cheese, more and everything else. It was a very difficult time where I wondered, you know, would I be able to have a relationship with my dad and, you know, would I ever be able to one day, you know, fall in love and and have somebody that not only that I would be accepted by my family, but it that that person would be accepted by my family. And so, you know, there was so much healing that came over the past several years. It it it didn't start easy. There was a a while I didn't actually communicate with my father for a while. It was strange, you know? Yeah. It was estranged.
[00:07:27] And, you know, I remember one conversation that you and I had around this because I was I was pretty frustrated. And, you know, you shared with me. You said, you know, he's your dad and he may not understand, just like you may not understand where he's coming from, but he's your dad. And it's one of those things that even before his diagnosis of Parkinson's really led to how do I heal this and how do we have a different relationship?
[00:08:01] And you know, where he doesn't push what he thinks upon me and I don't push what he thinks. You know what what I think on him. But but we actually just have a conversation and not even get to know each other so much as as father son.
[00:08:15] But that we get to know each other as as two human beings and as two men. And it was an amazing because it's it's been an amazing journey to find complete, you know, healing and restoration. And to the point that, you know, when Warren came into my life, you know, that, you know, Warren would oftentimes help with my dad or I was out traveling, speaking or, you know, one time I was often, you know, New Zealand speaking. And Warren was with my parents, you know, helping my mom care for my dad. And those were things that years ago I never thought would be possible. Why is it not possible that that I wouldn't find love and that I also wouldn't find, you know, a partner that my parents would be accepting of? And welcome. And so to complete that, you know, that that at full circle per say and and have that healing and her family is it's something that I wish for everybody that that they can find the love that they want for them and to be able to have those sometimes difficult conversations about, you know, how do we see eye to eye when we don't see eye to eye and see that we're all just human beings on the same journey together, and that while we're on this journey, we have different experiences that bring us together and sometimes they bring us apart, but that we learn from all those experiences.
[00:09:34] Well, yeah, I mean, I might be giving you some advice, but I mean, I was trying to get you to go straight. Because after you you introduced me to that last guy before you could.
[00:09:51] So as you know, that that reminds me of a story is when we were kids, we went down to the.
[00:10:02] So what about my family always traveled with this other family and we were down at the beach one time and this gentleman by the name of Cliff decided to drive the suburban into this sand dunes. I don't know why he thought it was a good idea to drive the suburban into the sand dunes. But then when it came time to leave, he couldn't actually get out. And, you know, he was just like gunning it and digging it deeper. And his wife looked at him. He gets out of the car and his wife, Debbie, looks at him. She adds, I clear as day. I remember her putting her hands on her hips, shaking her set, and she just that cliff. We live and we learn and she turned around and she walked off.
[00:10:37] And, you know, that was one of those we live and we walked off and left her in the sand. So.
[00:10:46] So this past year, I guess I don't know how to describe it. It's been a little bit dark for you, right?
[00:10:54] You know, it has. And, you know, I went through what I know now to be a depression. And I think, you know, one of the reasons that we're that I'm open to this conversation, having this conversation is that I didn't realize it was depression. I didn't realize, you know, I was, you know, for a few weeks. I was literally just I want to sit on the couch. I want to watch TV all day. And in my head, I was just like, man, I don't remember the last time I watched TV, like. It feels good just to relax for a little bit. But, you know, one day turned into one week, turned into one month, turned into like three months. And then I was just like, whoa, something's going on here.
[00:11:34] Because if you to have the dreaded J-O-B, you wouldn't have the other day or got fired.
[00:11:40] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I would not have had the flexibility to be depressed. I will say.
[00:11:47] And but but I also the flip side of that is I wouldn't have had the opportunity to to learn what would. Grieving was to me. And I think that, you know, when I message to you and you know, you ask if I was open to talk about this, I don't know what's going to come out of my mouth, the rest of this conversation, because I haven't publicly talked about this.
[00:12:06] What I know is that I discovered that the depression is real.
[00:12:11] What I discovered is that, you know, it's been someone who has a drive and who's always been like, oh, let's do this webinar, let's do this event, let's travel here, let's travel there. To the point that I literally just wanted to sit on the couch, watch TV. I started to drink a little bit more. And when I say more, it's like, you know, I would have a glass of wine every now and then. But there was a couple nights I was like, OK, I'll drink a bottle of wine and and it was OK.
[00:12:38] And in the end, it wasn't OK. But in my head it was OK. Right, right. And so then one day I was just like, man, I can't do this anymore. And and I actually reached out to a therapist. And, you know, I believe that entreprenuers and in human beings that, you know, sometimes we don't know how to describe what we're going through or what we're feeling. And it having a therapist and in which not with therapist, you know, therapy has a lot of stigmas. And I can tell you, because I've had some of my own thoughts around that, like I was just like when I go to a therapist because. And for the three reasons I could come up to go to a therapist, which where I need to become the CEO of my business again and I need to be the one that leads my business and leads my team. I need to be there to to lead my family. I want to be there to just, you know, feel happy and joyful and all of that again. While there was those reasons, there was a list of like, you know, five hundred thousand reasons of I shouldn't go to therapy because you would judge. Well, I couldn't go to therapy because what if they haven't lost a parent? Would they understand what that's like? Or you know what? But they didn't have the relationship that I had with my dad. And so if they've never had in a strange relationship, how could they help teach me how to, like, stop feeling what I'm feeling or to start feeling what I should be? And, you know, it was a couple of weeks before I convinced myself to see a therapist and it was Ben. And one of the most rewarding experiences of this year is talking about my dad and talking about grief and talking about healing. And, you know, even my niece, you know, Eliana, who's 10. You know, when just to see a grief counselor and to do sums and sand therapy animals, same therapy was a thing. But, you know, they do like different types of art therapy for kids.
[00:14:32] And so it's just the sand sand therapy essay A? Yes. I am seem like a guy in a suburban.
[00:14:40] No, that's not that's definitely not that type.
[00:14:45] But what was was fascinating is I learned that, you know, my family was also having their own way of dealing with grief. But because on the on the surface, everybody thought I was OK, because everybody except Warren, because obviously no one's living with me. I. And, you know, he knows like he's he sees me just sitting on the couch. But but everybody else thought I was fine on the outside. The business looked fine. My personal life looked fine. My emotions looked fine. And so when I finally said, hey, I'm going to therapy, that opened the opportunity for my sister to say, hey, you know what? Maybe Eliana and I should get counseling and for my mom to go to grief counseling and. Unintentionally, it by me speaking out and saying, hey, I went through this depression, I'm feeling this is the only time how I'm getting help. Yeah. It allowed three other people, my family, to begin a different type of grieving process for themselves with counseling and therapy as well. And I just you know, as an entrepreneur, we never know what other people are thinking or going through. And that I believe it's important to to share and to check on your friends, especially the ones that that seem you know, I don't know. We've heard it in the past be like, hey, you know, check on the strong friends, check on the ones that always look like they're OK. And it may it's kind of seems cliched when you hear it at first until I went through what I went through this year and I was just like. Yeah, everybody thought everything was OK, but I knew it wasn't until I actually stepped out and said, this is what's coming.
[00:16:17] Wow. Wow. So I didn't know about early on and and and the rest of the family going, but I'm so glad they did so. So tell us how.
[00:16:27] And I could just imagine what it would have been like.
[00:16:30] Like I said, if you were worried of losing your job and the paycheck stopped in those kind of pressures thrown on top of all the other stuff, you just, you know, said, I haven't had a job, so I've never had to go through that, but had plenty of students that have gone through all kinds of stuff. And it's just always exacerbated with worried about the job. But when you have your own business, I mean, you certainly you got to keep the bills paid and everything. But you you can build up a residual income things and, you know, you keep the bills paid while life gets in the way. And I've been preaching that for 20 plus years. Tell us how the the two German shepherds have played into into this.
[00:17:18] Yeah. So we've got two gorgeous German shepherds, Walt and Lillian. And we've had Walt now write about three years. And Lillian, we just got an.
[00:17:32] October-november right around there, maybe September or sometimes a little while longer than that.
[00:17:41] The other day. Yeah. This year's kind of been like everything blurred together.
[00:17:48] And be there, I can tell, you know, having walked, especially because we had him at the beginning of the year and having him three years, it's been amazing. And so is Walter, an official trained therapy dog. Well, he might not have a certificate, but I'm I'm just going to we'll grant him an honorary. And you know what was great about having German Shepherd at the time and then now, too, is, you know, it actually is. And I use the word force, too, because that's how it felt to me at the time. Is it actually forced me to get off the couch because it's like, well, you're not gonna take yourself out or if it's great, you're gonna have to sit there and smell it.
[00:18:31] Exactly. I'm not doing that. So it was great because, you know, it encouraged me. And I guess that it forced me to get up to know, okay, hey, I had to take the dog out. You got to feed the dog and German Shepherds. If any of you have German shepherds, you know, they're extremely high dry. Especially when they're young. And you know what's about to be forced. So he still has not reached that point in life where he has mellowed out, but he's not as hyper as he was, you know, two years ago when we got him. And so you need to run them and play with them. And so it was great because it got me outside. I saw sunlight. It gave me something to look forward to. And now that we have Liliom, I actually have to go back and find this paper. You know, Tom, it's actually September. I want to say.
[00:19:21] Seems to me a longer than that. It's been a misery. It's been a while.
[00:19:25] Yeah. I want to say September. Because I know her birthday was in November and that she turned one year old. And when we got her, she was 10 months. So it was either end of August, beginning of September. But what were that also helped was at first I was like, oh, my God, she's so cute, puppy. And then, you know, you get the puppy things of jumping and biting and chewing. And it was just like, OK, well, this isn't going to work. So we need to start some training and training now, which also gave me something else to look forward to. And it put some structure back into my day. And and, you know, I can share with you. You know, it's it's only really been about 30 days to get to that part. And a little bit here that the dogs have been exciting. It's been great. When I didn't want to get off a couch, you know, Walt would come and jump up on the couch and just like lay next to me or like, you know, come up and like, lick my arm. And so it's one of those things that, you know, our animals are so sensitive to us once that they know something's going on, but they don't know what. And just the level of comfort that they bring. And, you know, I would also say that, you know, I think that that's also just another beautiful thing. I know that we know we see the shirts of the stickers like, you know, who rescued you ride right from risk. And, you know, having Walt and having really has been just just truly an amazing experience to to laugh and to play and to look at some of the stupid things they do sometimes and look at and be like, OK, well, now we get to train this.
[00:21:07] So that doesn't happen.
[00:21:12] And, you know, I I'm I'm just so grateful for for Warren and for the dogs and that we get to play with them and that we get to practice our photography skills on them and that, you know, that the training infrastructure that we bring to the dogs is as much as we train a dog. It's truly that we're training ourselves back in to into systems and back into a regiment, never under.
[00:21:41] One of the things you told me one time was, you know, every minute you're with a dog, you're training them and you're either training them what to do or what not to do. And it's also what allowed me the opportunity to step back into, OK, well, what does this mean for my business? Like what what what are the patterns that I need to put back in? Because we had done some things in years prior that allowed us to have some residual income so that I was able to grieve. And, you know, I will say that the flip side of that is and this is something for all leaders to look at and to consider is because there was that residual income I was able to grieve.
[00:22:21] But also because of that residual income, a good friend of mine taught me an acronym called D.B. Sawyer. And but for today, we'll make it D.B. Sorby. And in what she shared it with me is that, you know, when you're going through something in your life, that recurring revenue can allow you to experience D.B. Sawyer, which she called doing business, sitting on your. And we're going to say. And. And but but that's just it. So but it also instead of doing business sitting on my butt, it also allows me to to heal and to grieve sitting on my butt because there was that recurring revenue coming in.
[00:23:04] So, so important is that I've been preaching this. I've called it an insurance policy, you know, for when life gets in the way. When you create these online things, we call them virtual real estate, where you don't have to kiss butter on a banker to get a mortgage to put up a Web site. The cash flows is Lao's, all these things that happen without all that extra pressure on you.
[00:23:26] And then you wouldn't got married in the middle of all this. Right.
[00:23:32] So we actually you know, and that was actually something that they kept getting put on hold. And I don't even know, like all the right words to to share this and even talk about this.
[00:23:45] It's been great to be able to share life with someone who who cares for you and supports you. And when I say supports you, I'm in cares for you. I don't even just mean financially. I mean, like emotionally. And to say, hey, you know, there's something wrong. And when you give them a bullcrap answer that they just don't accept it. And they they push and challenge for what the real issue is because they know you and they care about you. And so we were actually supposed to get married March 3rd of this year. So we're supposed to get married March 3rd, 2019.
[00:24:19] That was the plan. When my father passed. I was like, OK, well. There's there's no way I'm going from planning a funeral to planning a wedding. And then I went through I think I think really what. What kind of win took me through this emotional roller coaster this past year is that. Going through what we been through in the relationship with my dad. And, you know, when talking about homosexuality and all of these things, for my dad to have been in a place where he was excited for me and excited for one and loved Warren and allowed Warren to, you know, help care for him in his last days. That is known over the past few years that when we set that March 3rd date, we already knew.
[00:25:04] I mean, we didn't know that my father was going to pass, but we knew that the Parkinson's was progressing and there was more tremors and, you know. I forget the word, but he had to start drinking that this is this liquid that had this thick nerve in it because the esophagus was getting tighter. And so he was already on this thicker liquids and he couldn't have regular cough anymore because just regular liquids would make him like choke and cough up. And so there was already these these major physical changes happening. And so when we had this date of March 3rd, it was something that was so special to me because to have been through this journey with my father and for him to to love one and approve of Warren and to want to be there at our wedding was something that I never thought I would see.
[00:25:58] And so to be able to then know that my dad wanted to be at our wedding and be a part of our wedding and then have him, you know, rapidly ascend and to die, all of a sudden it was just like I.
[00:26:15] I couldn't imagine having a wedding without him being. Which was interesting because if you'd asked me three years ago, the answer would've been I can't imagine having a wedding with my dad there.
[00:26:29] I actually retired, so. Yeah. Right.
[00:26:32] So I can't imagine having a wedding with my dad there all of a sudden to fast forward a few years to my dad passing. And I can't imagine having my wedding to my dad not being there. And so we scrapped the March 3rd date and we said, you know what, we'll do it later this year. And then and the more that we talked about it, it just became increasingly difficult for me to imagine a wedding without my dad there.
[00:26:57] And so in July, we.
[00:27:00] A lot of people knew that we were planning on getting married in March. And so we kind of took a different approach in July, we said, you know what? Let's throw the party right here and people like what we like.
[00:27:12] Yes, we're gonna do the part for you. We're gonna call it a celebration of love dinner. We'll do the reception and the party and let like like have a great time with people, celebrate with our friends. And then when we're ready, we'll get married.
[00:27:27] And our timing and our way and not to the wedding for everybody else, but do it for us. And so we did that July. And then on December 13th, just a couple weeks ago, we actually got married in Orlando and did the pictures at Disney pictures with Mickey, all of that, which was very fitting because Disney is such a special place for war to be. But it's also even grow up, you know, a place that, no, my parents would take us two to three times a year to Disney. And a big part of that love for Disney comes from my dad and the possibility, the dreaming and always challenging things. And I think I even probably shared on the last episode that we did together that, you know, as a kid, I was probably about six.
[00:28:11] One of the things that my dad asked me was, you know, what do you want to be when you grow up? And I to this day, Tom, I can't tell you what the answer was. I know I might have said an astronaut or who knows what. I don't know what I said.
[00:28:24] But what I will always remember was my dad's response, which was, if you can be anything in the world, why not dream bigger? And you know, that's one of the lessons that I carry with me know now 32 years later is as a human being, as an entreprenuer, as a as a now husband, as a brother, as a son is, you know, why not dream bigger? And, you know, why do we allow ourselves to to take on the limitations that the people put on us because of the story that they decided to gift us? We decided to open up a story that they gave us. And, you know, it's like an author.
[00:29:05] I don't know an author that ever says I'm going to write the worst book in the world is going to buy a copy. They all say, I'll write a best selling book.
[00:29:12] And if we say that, we're gonna write a bestselling book and this is entreprenuers and his leaders, why why do we not say, you know what, how do I write the best life?
[00:29:23] Well said. Well said. So. So what's the future hold now?
[00:29:27] Man, oh, man. You know, Tom, I I wish I had the right answer to that. The answer I have right now is that.
[00:29:37] That the future is bright and where, you know, I think that the big piece of this healing came from is so the day before Thanksgiving, my mother got a phone call and it was the cemetery to get my dad's headstone had come in and they had placed it. And my mom lives about an hour and a half hour or forty five minutes from from where the cemetery is. And so on Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, that they called the day before Thanksgiving. Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, my mom, my sister, my niece and me get in the car and we're driving to go to the cemetery. And just kind of the whole way there. We're talking about dad. We're talking about his antics. We're talking about the crazy B.S. things he would do some time and just having a great time. Right. And laughing. And, you know, when we got to the cemetery and I saw the headstone.
[00:30:33] It was I don't know how to explain it, it was just kind of like it's something that said. The story's just starting.
[00:30:43] And I and I so I know we drove back to my mom's house, you know, driving back. We have dinner on the way. And that night I called Warren and I was like, you know, my dad taught us so many lessons, so many things and. When we're in the Facebook group, I would always pictures of dad when we'd go to breakfast and we'd share some of his marketing ideas, business ideas, and we were just talking about it. And I went to bed. And as cuckoo as it sounds and I already know somebody listening to this. I already look, I already know you are going to have some crazy comments, but it was like I went to bed that night and I felt like I'd be like like my dad came to visit me and I just had like a conversation with him, like the entire night.
[00:31:27] Like, I literally felt like I spent an entire day with him, even though I was only asleep like four hours. And I woke up the Saturday after Thanksgiving with just like this burden and this weight lifted off of me.
[00:31:38] And I just said, OK, it's time to go.
[00:31:43] And it was like he had told me it's time to go and. And so when we say what the future is, what the future is, is it's continuing to build the business. It's continuing to do things on. It's writing a book right now called Breakfast With Dad to Honor My Father's Legacy. And you taught me about entrepreneurship. And at the same time, it's as we continue to go forward. You know, a lot of people have known this in the sponsorship space. But what allowed us to to do the work in the sponsorship and to do work with some of these other brands and to get on stages was the ability to to see relationships and to connect the platforms into what's possible. And so people can expect to see from us not just, you know, teaching sponsorship, we're still going to teach it. But also teach more of what you need and so how do you build that platform? How do you build that highly engaged community and how do you jump on the platforms that give you the opportunity to be able to get those sponsors, to get those partners, to get the affiliates that allow it, that when life throws you that curve ball, you still have something coming in or you know that there's something down the pipeline coming because of the work that you already did ahead of time with partners, with collaborations, with sponsorships because of the platform that we built as leaders. And we want other people, too. I don't want other people to experience death. Right. But I want other people very much like you've experienced for so many years, Tom, and grateful to to to share with me and mentor myself and others. I wanted the people to be able to, when life throws on that curve ball, know that they have the time to heal and their way because of the way that they built their business on their platforms beforehand.
[00:33:34] Yeah. And it's not necessarily the the loss of a loved one. Persay like like you did. But it could be a divorce.
[00:33:41] It could be a second surgery. Yeah. It could be like a surgery. Exactly.
[00:33:47] Sickness could be, you know, broken down car that you can't afford to fix. It just could be all kinds of things that that's what's going to happen to people. Life things. Yeah.
[00:34:01] You know, and even the great things like. So, for example, you know somebody that I know that other co-chair in the industry. He has a student of theirs who just took a few weeks off of off of her business because they had initially gotten two kids from the foster care system. They had a long, drawn out court battle while they were waiting to get custody out of the foster care system for permission to adopt a second child. And because of the business that he had built, she was able to take the time to be with the lawyers and be in court and do everything else to to celebrate adopting the kid. And so it's it's also for those great things in life, like when you want to adopt a kid or if you have your own baby, the.
[00:34:47] Let's hope you're not on stage giving birth.
[00:34:52] But, you know, it's for those happy moments in life, too, that, you know. What do we build as entreprenuers so that when life comes, the happy moments, the sad moments, the crying moments and the things that we get to celebrate when they happen. What have we built? That allows us to experience all this around us.
[00:35:12] Yeah, and it's it's it's a journey. You know, this entrepreneurial journey is a journey of pain.
[00:35:18] It's a journey of two step forward. One's that back. It's journey of super highs and super lows. And it's just all smoothed out if you can build these systems that keep the money coming in so you take that pressure level office. So.
[00:35:34] So I'm wishing great things for you in the future. I know this.
[00:35:39] I can't imagine, like all of a sudden you're fixed. All right. Because I know it's 20 years later. I told you last night in a text, I go into Home Depot and Lowe's and Harbor Freight, which, you know, my dad was totally blue collar, taught me how to fix things. And I still have some of his tools and I still get a tear in my eye and feel him with me when I'm in in those places.
[00:36:02] So. So it's still a still a journey. But how can people get in touch with you?
[00:36:08] So, you know, I think well, I'm going to go back and say one more thing I just said. You're right, it's all a journey. And what's great now is that, you know, at first I would look at a picture of my dad and I just want to cry and I cry from like this, this sadness, what was me? And now I get to see it and I get that TIer or you cry. But it's the thank you for what you taught me. And thank you for. And so you're right. It's it's the continued journey. But it's it's that the lens from which I get to see it now when I tell people our appreciation of your point.
[00:36:45] I tell people he's sitting here talking to basic figures because you know what he he did.
[00:36:52] He taught me and made me to become you know, it's it's like, yeah.
[00:36:58] Tom's talking to you. But so Sam. Really? Yep.
[00:37:03] Yeah. So so the thing obviously the the web page, RobertoCaldelaria.com and we're we're making some changes to the Facebook groups, but also on Instagram Roberto Candelaria.
[00:37:14] And then, you know, just check out Tom's mailing list and Web pages. And I'm sure you'll see me and Tom hanging around and and instigating and doing more things so that producers are able to not only be able to to live for themselves, but live for their families and be able to make the difference that they want in the way that they want. And so. Yeah. Find me there. Find me on social media. And Tom Foreman for this kind of.
[00:37:42] Yeah, my pleasure. Tom Warren stuff, too.
[00:37:44] Yeah. So Warren, you can find at WarrenCarlyle.com or on Sunset on octonation on Instagram, you can find him at OctoNation, which is the world's largest octopus fanboy club, which if you are curious at all.
[00:38:01] Be sure to go back there to screw the commute Web site because Warne and Tom that an episode.
[00:38:06] But I don't know that one off the top of my head. I remembered mine was number 50 because I remember your first hour after the podcasts and I want to be number 50. Oh, I thought I was like, because you could ever say what you want to be episode number 50. I said, just give me time to get my crap together.
[00:38:23] So anyway, even though people be hearing this afterwards. Have a merry Christmas. Hughley honor for me.
[00:38:30] Tell your mom and sister I said hi and I love them and all things. Good for you both.
[00:38:36] Yes, sir. Same to you. All right, folks. Kitchell and the next episode to.