269 – This young boy’s grief will change the world: Tom interviews Bryce Fields

Episode 269 – Bryce Fields SYE
[00:00:09] Welcome to Screw the Commute. The entrepreneurial podcast dedicated to getting you out of the car and into the money, with your host, lifelong entrepreneur and multimillionaire, Tom Antion.

[00:00:24] Hey everybody it's Tom here with episode two hundred and sixty nine of Screw the Commute podcast. This is a special youth edition. We have Bryce Fields here and his grandfather, Bradley Vinson. And wow, this young man is doing some great things along with his grandfather in the field of grief. And so we'll bring him on in a minute and tell you all about it. Hope you didn't miss episode 268. That was affiliate marketing. That was one of my Monday training sessions where I go in-depth on something that's made me a lot of money or saved me a lot of money. And affiliate stuff has been a major part of my income for many years in this episode. Tells you how to do it in two major ways. Now, how would you like to hear your own voice here of screw the commute? Well, if the show has helped you out at all in your business or giving you ideas to help you start a business, we want to hear about it. Go to screwthecommute.com and look for a little blue sidebar that says send a voicemail. If you click on it, you can talk right into your phone or your computer and tell us how the show has helped you. And and also put your Web site on there so we can give you a nice big shout out. That's at screwthecommute.com and hope you didn't miss grabbing a copy of our automation e-book. You go to screwthecommute.com/automatefree and all the great stuff we have of course will be in the show notes along with Bryce's stuff and he's written a book. Wait till you see what this young man has done. This automation e-book will let you take care of customers faster, save you tons of time, millions of keystrokes and and we sell it for 27 bucks. But it's yours free for listening to the show while you're at it. Grab a copy of our podcast app at screwthecommute.com/app that lets you do all kinds of cool things on your cell phone or tablet. And we have videos and and screen captures to show you exactly how to use all the fancy features. Now, you know what's happened and we're sitting here in the middle of this corona virus pandemic and everybody's quarantined and the keywords work from home are going crazy on Google. Bigger than ever, ever, ever. And it's no surprise to me. I've been preaching this for since nineteen ninety seven when I started teaching Internet marketing. I mean homeschooling is really going up and people are selling home exercise equipment like crazy. So there are some fields that are still taking off. But for the most part I want you to be able to work legitimately from home, study legitimately from home. And that's what my school is all about. IMTCVA.org is a school that it's the only one of its kind in the country. And I got a little bit of surprise for Bryce later, so. Bradley, you remind me before we get done with the show, I got a nice surprise for him, but you can see how important this is. Now, I'm sure everybody sees this. They're stuck at home and they're you know, they need to make money. Whatever they give us from the government is still not going to be enough. So I wish you'd listen to me 20 some years ago. I started teaching you this stuff. But anyway, it's not too late to study from home and IMTCVA.org, we have scholarships for military first responders, law enforcement, and I'd be glad to talk to you about it if you just want to give me a call because I'm home too. I can barely go to the grocery store.

[00:04:14] All right. Let's get to the main event. Bryce Fields relishes his role as a big brother. At the age of six, that role was redefined with the loss of his little sister, Alanna. His servant heart led him to serve other grieving children, including his little brother, T.J. With his new book, What This Kid Wants Adults to Know about Grief, Bryce shares his experience and knowledge with caring adults looking for ways to better connect with and care for the little hurting hearts in their lives.

[00:04:57] Bryce, welcome to the show, buddy.

[00:05:00] I'm glad to be here.

[00:05:01] I'm glad you're here, too. And who you got with you there? Who'd you bring with you? Okay. Yeah. Yeah, that's Bradley Vinson.

[00:05:11] And he got his world changed around, too, as a grandfather. So, Bryce, this is a very, very tough subject. Adults usually have trouble dealing with this subject.

[00:05:23] How did you how did you come up with the idea to for a book to help people, help kids?

[00:05:31] My inspiration for the book is my little sister who passed away and she liked to help people, so I wanted to help people and me and my grandfather felt like if we wrote a book, it would have a good impact on people than our videos that we made.

[00:05:49] Ok. And then what do you remember about your sister? That was four years ago, roughly. Yes, sir. What do you remember about her?

[00:05:59] I remember about her being very nice to everybody.

[00:06:03] What else? What did she like to play with?

[00:06:08] Oh, she liked to play with this weird pink doll thing that was making these weird noises all the time.

[00:06:17] Yeah. And I would tell you that I see some of that stuff. Kids are playing with now like this slime stuff. Like what? What do you do? It's just slime and then it's go crazy. So. So that was pretty tough time for you then, huh?

[00:06:34] Yes, sir.

[00:06:35] So how do you how are you feeling about it now? Now that you look back and and you've got four years since it happens. How are you feeling?

[00:06:47] I'm feeling great about it. I think that now is not as hard for me as it was when I was little. Mm-Hmm.

[00:06:55] Oh, you're a lawyer who we left with, but because oh fifty five years older than you.

[00:07:03] Now that so does it make you feel good that you're helping other people.

[00:07:11] Yes. And make it whenever I talk to other people. It helps me in the process.

[00:07:16] I see. I see. So tell me about your grandfather. Just pretend like he's not sitting there and tell me. Tell me about him.

[00:07:28] I don't really know, but the question is.

[00:07:35] How's he involved in this? And how did it change his life?

[00:07:40] I think he changed. It changed his life because his granddaughter passed away in a very sad.

[00:07:48] You know, Bradley, you you took a different angle in your career after this is true.

[00:07:55] Yeah. At the time this all happened, my wife and I were kind of doing the financial empowerment thing similar to Dave Ramsey type stuff.

[00:08:02] Mm-hmm. And I was actually attending seminary when she passed away and it just changed my whole focus on how I was gonna serve the community after that. I mean initially I was in seminary kind of studying and working on man's ministry stuff and marriage ministry things. And when she passed away and I was looking for kind of resources, they helped me and my family get on this healing journey. I realized what much out there for other people to get on a healing journey. So that's the community I started to serve from that moment on.

[00:08:34] Now, were you involved with the police and firefighters before this?

[00:08:39] No, actually, I was kind of a weird way that happened because. You know, I wanted to serve those that serve the least of these are us that are hurting. Right.

[00:08:49] So you're you're a chaplain in the field now?

[00:08:52] Yes, I am a chaplain now. And I kind of came about for me wanting to serve the chaplains because they do it. A lot of people that are in tough situations. But it's like who helps them, you know? Right. And so I was trying to reach out to the chaplain corps and help them and be a resource for them to kind of, you know, let off some of this burden that they have when they serve people. And they were like, no, I think we you should be a chaplain. And so they recruited me. And I started working with the the fire department, the police department here locally. And I got on calls with them and, you know, make notifications and know do that. That's tough work like that. I've been doing that now for roughly a year.

[00:09:32] So. Now, Bryce, do you realize what's going on with this thing they call a pandemic?

[00:09:40] Yes, I think I was. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[00:09:45] I love that the Corona virus right now. A lot of kids like you or losing their grandparents and their parents.

[00:09:54] And so this is a even more important time for you to get your word out.

[00:10:01] Yes.

[00:10:03] You got some tips for adults to help people, right? To help young people deal with these bad, bad things that happen.

[00:10:12] Yes, sir.

[00:10:13] All right, well, what are some of your what are some of your tips that you'd like adults to know?

[00:10:18] I think adults, you know, if you have to sell the kid the bad news, try and do without a lot of added emotion, it add extra weight on the kid.

[00:10:28] Wow. So. So they should. They shouldn't joke about it, though, right?

[00:10:34] Yes. Right. So. All right. So what else? What's another good tip for the adult?

[00:10:40] Let you have to be OK with your kid getting get your kid to getting help from a trusted adult, from some somebody else.

[00:10:50] Right. Because sometimes maybe the parents are too close to it and grieving themselves and they can't maybe be objective and calm.

[00:11:01] Yes, sir. OK. What else?

[00:11:05] Let the kid lead with Deah's on how they remember their loved one.

[00:11:10] Ok, so do you have some ideas on the remember? And did I pronounce your sister's name correctly?

[00:11:16] Yes. It's a. Yes.

[00:11:19] So what are what are your ideas on how you remember her?

[00:11:25] Remember her byline, just whenever I look at our pictures, I remember all the fun memories of me and her doing stuff, and sometimes I take out old toys that she's had before her.

[00:11:41] No one day. I mean, this. That third tip.

[00:11:45] You know, kind of came one day we were just sitting in the house and Bryce walks in and he says, wow, I want to look at some of the latest things and and, you know, look at her blankets and her toys and us as adults. We could have said, no, now's not the time.

[00:12:01] Right. Right. But we said, OK, well, let's go get let's go get the container with our stuff and let's go get some tissues.

[00:12:09] Yes, it's coming the spread out here from the television and then just look at our stuff and play with her toys and things and stuff that we never would have thought of as the adults in the house. Right. But just one day he was like, hey, you know, I want to look at some of the lot of stuff.

[00:12:24] And, you know, that's that was the thing that really jumped out at me for parents or guardians or whoever you might be with these kids. We have to let them have a voice and have an opinion and, you know, and how they need they need help in their healing process.

[00:12:41] Though a lot of parents would have gotten rid of every three women.

[00:12:45] Some parents do, you know, and some parents I kind of call it the move on versus a moving forward process. Some people want to move on from their grief, like leave it where it is and keep moving.

[00:13:01] Some people want to move forward with their grief. In what I called that is learning how to carry the grief. But you keep moving. Right. And so, you know, some people have shrines to their loved ones. Some people have a few things. Some people kind of clean up everything. You get rid of it. So but whatever helps with the healing process. But that's what just kind of helped with ours. We we kind of made a container like what, those big Tupperware kind of things right on it and just kind of filled it with, you know, old blankets and some clothes and some toys. And we keep it tucked away in a closet and just bring it out every now and then.

[00:13:37] Wow. No, no. You're doing speaking engagements together, right?

[00:13:43] Yeah. I mean, we've done a couple of things. We've done a few grief symposiums.

[00:13:48] And we spoke at a at a fundraising gala for our favorite grief camp for kids camp a gap. And usually how we do it, you know, I'll give a keynote or whatever, and then I'll bring him up on stage with me and we'll just kind of talk in front of the audience. So you guys kind of get to see behind the curtain as we talk about things were delivered.

[00:14:08] Did you ever use any of Alanna's toys in those speeches?

[00:14:12] No, we have we haven't gone that far yet. It's still kind of our stuff. You know what I mean? Right. I would definitely speak of her. Her pictures on the screen. But yes, some of those things just kind of. That's our stuff.

[00:14:23] Okay. Now, Bruce, what about you? Have you have any tips for kids?

[00:14:29] I have three of them, yes. OK. Let's hear. What's your first one?

[00:14:34] My first one is remember your tears, your medicine. It's OK to cry. Because really cry can make you feel better.

[00:14:40] So you don't have to feel like macho man, that you should never cried the whole roll inside. Yes. So what? What other tips for kids you have?

[00:14:51] Number two is let someone know you're hurting as soon as possible.

[00:14:55] Yeah.

[00:14:55] So just don't wait and hide in your room. Right.

[00:14:58] Yes. Because you need to express it, because if you keep it bottled up inside, you won't feel well later.

[00:15:07] That's right. It was kind of funny. We use this expression. We were speaking to a group of actually young boys. And we use the expression is that, you know, if you fell off your bicycle and broke your arm, would you wait until your arm felt better before you go to the doctor and all the little boy said no. Right. Right. They said, well, you've lost a loved one or a pet or whatever. The little the little boys might have lost. And your heart is broken. So why would you wait until you feel better before you went for help and you could just see these light bulbs? It's like, you know, it's the same thing. You'd have a broken heart. You need to go look, go seek out help.

[00:15:48] So this could be loss of anything. Then write a pair or a distant relative or a teacher or anything. Right.

[00:15:56] Yeah, especially with kids. You know, I mean, we have a lot of military friends and things like that. But even moving around can cause grief for a kid. Loss of relationship with old friends and things like that. So kids. Grief is a little different than adult grief in some ways, because as adults, you know, like, oh, I got to move for a job, I'll be all right. But when it's a child and they move and I had 20 friends, that can be a grief experience. I sure.

[00:16:24] So so you're getting more tips for kids, Bryce?

[00:16:29] Oh, my third one is reading books and talking to people on similar experiences is good because you can collaborate and understand each other's grief.

[00:16:38] Right. Right. Right. So the how how is the book writing experience?

[00:16:43] How did you do it? Did you write a little bit at a time? Did you sit down to write the whole thing? How did that work?

[00:16:50] Oh, yeah, it was funny because I was shooting these videos a few years ago when I was doing these kind of I call them good grief. And one night I'm about to do my video. You do the videos after he goes to bed when it's quiet and he says, pop all, what are you working on? I said a video. A video about what? About grief for adults. And he's like, why didn't somebody do that to kids? Why doesn't somebody defecate? And so that next week he did his first video and it was his testimonial about Camilla got a grief camp and it went over so well. The following month was November and November is National Children's Grief Awareness Month. So we decide to do a series of videos that month when he was the star. I'm just interviewing him on live video and we called him what this kid wants adults to know about grief. And it went over so well. We started getting interviews to come talk and things like that. And one day my wife just basically said. This should be a book. And so the first thing I did is I transcribed all the videos that we shot together and then I just basically sat in a closet and interviewed him talk and talk and talk and talked and we transcribed it, gave him the transcription, let him edit it, transcribed some more. He edited that. And then we sent out to fashion editor and added some, you know, some some graphics, some things. And next thing you know, he's an author.

[00:18:19] That is tremendous. Now we've got to take a brief sponsor break. But when we come back, we wanted to come back in and talk about the the book itself, the title where you can find it and all that stuff. So we'll be back in a minute with that.

[00:18:35] But, folks, I hope you're getting an extra lesson here. This isn't a specific screw the commute.

[00:18:41] Hard core technique lesson, but this is a lesson of what you could be doing and involving your young people in writing, creating intellectual property and speaking well and all these communication things that young Bryce is doing that's going to put him way in front of most of his peers and in the success arena.

[00:19:08] And I'm I'm just thrilled to have him on here today.

[00:19:12] And so I got a little bit of a surprise for him. He doesn't have to take advantage of it. He can take advantage of in the future sometime.

[00:19:19] But but I'd like to give him a half scholarship to my school. And we've had as people as young as eight years old writing books.

[00:19:32] We had a 12 year old. So he would be the third third person if he decide to take advantage of it. He could take advantage of it anytime in the future. But but I'd like to give him a 50 percent scholarship, just like I would give police or first responders and law enforcement, because he's going to be, you know, saving lives, really, you know, because, you know, suicide is rampant in our country.

[00:19:57] And part of it's from grief.

[00:19:59] And I believe this young man is going to save lives.

[00:20:03] And I'm really proud to be able to have him on here. So that's a little gift I have for him.

[00:20:09] That's probably enough of a sponsor message, it's about the school.

[00:20:12] But I just want to focus on this young man and what everybody out there could be doing for the youth in there and their families.

[00:20:22] You know, even if it's not on a topic like this, which is so heavy.

[00:20:27] But any any of these things that they're doing now could keep them from being stuck like the rest, you know, like the whole world is now being stuck at home and not having to do so. Yeah. Check it out at IMTCVA.org and I'd be glad to discuss your child's future. And what a great legacy gift from a grandparent or a or a parent to to give their their child something that can really, you know, take them to high levels and not be stuck with debt the rest of their life.

[00:21:01] You know, like the traditional colleges.

[00:21:03] So so that's my little surprise for. For Bryce.

[00:21:07] So, Bryce, tell us the title of the book, how people find it, how they get it. And do you have like.

[00:21:16] I'm thinking that this could you if you don't have it now, you should have a bulk copy price where people buy a hundred or five hundred or a thousand of motor time. So. So tell us about the name of your book where people find it. And then we can discuss those bulk purchases because there's loads of companies I think they would love to buy. What if somebody bought 10000 of these tomorrow, Bryce? How would that be?

[00:21:44] That would be kind of great.

[00:21:46] Kinda great. Yeah, great. What about fifty thousand? How about that? So really awesome.

[00:21:52] What's the title of the book title. Book is what this kid wants. Don't snow about grief. Okay. And where can they find it? You can find my book at thiskidsgrief.com or Amazon and it's on Amazon too.

[00:22:07] Okay, that's good. Visit any bookstores yet.

[00:22:11] Yeah. Yes. In the Barnes and Noble. This isn't a ton of online bookstores. We're still kind of doing some negotiating with some brick and mortar stores.

[00:22:21] You got to be careful with that because. Are you self-publishing?

[00:22:25] Yes. Yes. Yeah. Because you can get stuck with a lot of books, too. They take and return them damaged and you know, they're on consignment. So that's why we're not.

[00:22:34] Not really after that market.

[00:22:36] Plus, there's other sues. Barnes Noble's goes down the tubes.

[00:22:40] There won't be any place left right to sell em like that. But but do you have any do you have bulk prices ready?

[00:22:49] We do. When people buy more than a hundred, we take 40 percent off. Okay. Which locks the book down to roughly nine $10 per book. Okay, great. Regular price is fifteen. It should. Yes, we do have bulk orders. They just have to contact us through the website and then we'll do a purchase order and do all that.

[00:23:07] Okay. And tell them about your Web site, too.

[00:23:10] Yeah, my web site is bradleyvinson.com. And it just has information there about my speaking some resources for the grieving community and those that care for them. And I consider myself an advocate for the grieving community. Right. And and I also work with people that care for the grieving.

[00:23:32] Now, does Bryce come with you and all your speaking or just some occasions?

[00:23:37] Only some.

[00:23:38] If this if it's related to children's grief, I mean, because it's like I really don't want to, you know, have him be the canary in the coal mine, so to speak, and kind of having him at all these grief heavy thing. Right. Right. So, yeah, but if this is specific to the audience that cares for grieving children, he's definitely in the house. I'll bet you talk about him even if he's not there. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I want one of my keynotes is called what my grandchildren taught me about grief. Oh, yeah. And it has a lot to do with him.

[00:24:10] Well, it's doing a great thing. Mr. Bryce. And you got a great future ahead of you. You're going to be super successful. And I'm never wrong. I'm never wrong. All right. There's no question about it.

[00:24:23] So so thanks so much for coming on. Bryce. Oh, thank you. All right.

[00:24:29] So we're gonna have pictures of your book and pictures. Are you in the show? Notes and everything. And we'll have your gramp excuse me, your papa in the end.

[00:24:42] And we're going to look for great things from you. And then if you want to discuss the school thing, you can you can catch me off line and and can help help you have a big career on the Internet.

[00:24:55] So we had to pick his chin up off the table when he heard.

[00:25:00] So, yes, just thrilled. 30 on. So everybody get over there. By hundreds of copies of that book and the. Remember, it's not just car crashes.

[00:25:11] It's any time a young person is going to feel a loss and like I said, as some some adults we know, we just brush it off and move on. But as a child, you may not have those skills. So we have to be even more cognizant of what's going on in their minds.

[00:25:29] So, again, thanks, Bradley. Thanks, Bryce. We'll catch everybody on the next episode. See you later.

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